She is the one

Part 52.

Jasmine's POV

Suddenly my phone rings and I grab it. It's my mom, I wonder why she's calling me.
- Hey mom, what's up? - I say and walk up to the big window in Shawn's living room. I love the view.
- Hey honey. I was about to go to the grocery shop and I wondered if you want to come with me or if you need something? - she asks me.
- Uhm, I don't need something and I can't go with you, sorry. - I say.
- That's okay. But is everything alright? You seem nervous.
- To be honest not really, but I tell you later.
All of sudden Shawn's standing in the door of his bedroom looking at me.
- Mom have to go, I love you. Bye! - I say quickly and hang up.
Maybe it was not very polite to just hang up, but Shawn is more important right now.
I lay down my phone and walk over to him, the smell of alcohol goes through my nose again.
- Hey, how are you feeling? - I ask him nervous and take his hands. His hands are cold, very cold. And his eyes are still full of tears. He must feel so bad right now.
- To be honest...I feel bad. Really bad. - he says quietly and looks me in the eyes.
- It'll get better, I promise. - I say.
- Now let's go take a bath. I'll help you.
We walk into his bathroom and we take off his clothes, until I he's standing completely naked in front of me. I turn around and let the water in the bathtub and help Shawn getting in.
- Careful Shawn, careful. - I sas and he sits down.
- I'm gonna do your bed, call me if you need something. - I tell him and smile at him slightly. He nods and I walk over to his bedroom.
It's a good feeling to know that Shawn is feeling better and doesn't judges himself anymore. Well, till now.
I change the bedding, because it smelled like alcohol as well. I'm still confuses about this thoughts...that he's a mess and stuff.
After I cleaned up the bedroom I walk back to the bathroom to look after Shawn. He's still laying in the bathtub with his eyes closed enjoying the silence.
I lean against the door frame and watch him for some seconds as he suddenly opens his eves again and sees me standing there.
- How long are you watching me? - he says and smiles slightly.
I chuckle slightly and walk up to him and sit down on the corner of the bathtub.
- Just about one minute. It felt good seeing you feeling better. I needed you watch you. - I say quietly and stroke his head.
He smiles slightly at me and gets up carefully.
- I think I was sitting long enough in the bathtub. - he says and I help him get out of it. I'm helping him with everything because he isn't still able to do it by himself, even though he slept and feels better now. I don't want him to get hurt or something. Shawn takes a towel and puts it around his hips before he rubs his hair dry with another towel.
- I'll wait in the living room for you. - I say and he nods.
I walk into the living room and sit down on the couch. My head still hurts like hell, but that doesn't matters. All that matters is Shawn and his health. My mom wrote me several message about why I hang up so fast and what's going on, but I'm not in the mood right now to answer. I lay down my phone and see Shawn coming over dressed in shorts and a T-shirt. I have to admit that he looks very hot in this.
He sits down next to me and looks at me with his puppy eyes and his soft lips. He looks up and down at me as he suddenly stops and stares at my wrist.
- What have you done there? - he asks worried and makes me look at him.
I hide it and look at him.
- Nothing bad. I just accidentally cut my wrist with a glass shard of a wine bottle when I cleaned up the mess in the living room after I helped you getting into your bed. - I say and try to smile.
- A glass shard? Did I threw it at you? - he says and his voice cracks. He's afraid that he wanted to hurt me.
- No no no, you threw it against a wall...not at me... - I say.
My voice maybe sounded afraid because I was afraid as he threw it against the wall and screamed at me. Everything comes back. The feelings, the pictures, the words...everything what happened today. It's in my mind again. And all of sudden a tear escapes my eyes. I couldn't help it. Shawn carefully wipes it away with his thumb and turns my head around to his again.
- Jasmine...that's what I meant. I'm a mess and I'm just doing messes. You cut yourself at a glass shard because I got psycho and threw a bottle against a wall. I scared you, I can feel that, but I don't want to. I'm doing mistakes every single day and I want you to be happy. Be happy with a man who can gives you everything you need, everything you deserve. You deserve the best and that's not me. I'm nothing but a mess. - he says and another tear escapes my eye.
- No Shawn, you're talking bullshit. YOI are everything I want, YOU are everything I need and YOU are the reason why I'm breathing. I can't live without you anymore and I won't do it. I'm not gonna leave you, never. Iove you and you mustn't forget that!
His eyes start to shine and he begins to smile slightly.
- I'm just way too afraid to lose you. You are too perfect for me... - he answers and slowly begins to cry.
- You won't lose me, never never never! - I say and he begins to smile of happiness.
- I love you. - he says and crashea his lips on mine.