In Your Eyes ✧ Timothée Chalamet

06 - blind with rage

T I M O T H É E

When I asked Ella when she wanted to go see her father, I didn't think she meant right now. Bright and early whilst we're just about to have us some breakfast to start off our day. I thought she'd need some time to prepare herself but instead she's keen on leaving the house right after she finishes her toast. And it's quite scary to me.

'Are you sure you don't want to wait a bit?' I ask watching her down her coffee as fast as humanly possible.

Aaron exits his bedroom right as she puts her coffee mug down on the table. 'Wait a bit for what?' He asks rubbing his eye lids and sitting beside me and across from his sister at the table.

I look at Ella, not knowing what to say. But she simply shrugs. 'I'm going to see dad today, Timmy's driving me.' She says it so casually, as if her father is some old pal of hers that she hasn't seen in a few months. If I didn't know her well enough I'd never have assumed that he tormented her and her brother for years and they had to pack up their stuff and leave the house to get as far away from him as they could possibly get.

I look at Aaron who doesn't seem shocked at all. He's staring at his sister and after a long beat of silence he nods his head slowly. 'I went through a faze like that too. I had this strong urge to see him a few months ago but it never worked out in the end.' He explains.

Ella knits together her eyebrows. 'Why not? Did he not let you in the house?' She questions, trying to find some sort of a reason but Aaron shakes his head at her.

'No it's not that. I drove myself all the way there and I got out of the car and walked up to the door. But then I was way too terrified to knock on it.' Aaron's honesty only worries me more.

Ella seems confident that she can do this, she seems sure of herself and the fact that she'll be able to see her father again without any sort of an inconvenience. But from what Aaron's telling me, it's going to take a lot of courage to do this. And I truly hope for her sake that she'll be strong enough to knock on that door. Because if she isn't, it'll destroy her even more.

She just got better, I don't want this to hurt her.

'I need to speak to him.. it's the only way I'll be able to resolve my issues that we all know I have.' I know she's right. She already convinced me of that when were in her bedroom. This could help her, this could cure her from all the pain she's been feeling even before Drew's death.

It'll be hard. But it'll be worth it in the end.

Aaron reaches his hand out to his sister and she takes it gratefully. Ella looks at her brother with so much admiration that I almost start to smile. She looks up to him, I can see it in her eyes. And she cares about him so deeply that she's willing to do anything for him, even if it means he'll be happy in the end and she won't.

And Aaron's the same way. His sister means the whole world to him. 'You can do it.. you've always been better at dealing with dad than I was.' He smiles at her and she returns the gesture.

'You're not coming with us?' She asks him. Aaron shakes his head defeatedly.

'No. Not today. I'm not ready yet.. but I will be one day.' He stands up to place a kiss on his younger sisters forehead. Then he heads over to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast of his own.

Ella's plate is filled with tiny breadcrumbs and her coffee mug is now empty. She looks up at me and I have to hide the fear on my face. 'Ready?' She asks and although I'm not ready to watch her heart break into even tinier pieces that won't be easy to put together, I still nod. Because I need to be ready for her. Because this is what she wants in order to truly heal.