In Your Eyes ✧ Timothée Chalamet

29 - one shitty job

E L L A

The coffee I make tastes a lot more bitter than usual.

But maybe that's just because I don't have much of an appetite for it this morning. I still finish the whole cup anyways, and pour myself another, because there's no way I'm getting through the rest of the day without caffeine in my system.

I've pulled all nighters before. Especially back when I was living with my dad. He would make so much noise downstairs. Play his t.v shows too loud, invite over some drunk men from the bar or cause some sort of a ruckus that would keep me up all night.

Sometimes it would be quiet though. Too quiet. And I wouldn't be able to fall asleep because I feared that at any moment he would just barge right into my bedroom and start beating me senseless.

He did that to me once. He caught me off guard. I was asleep and I woke up to my covers being pulled off of me and he was dragging me off the bed by my feet but thankfully Aaron woke up the moment he heard my screams and he took the beating for me instead.

That's when I started locking my door at night. But even with the door locked I still couldn't erase the fear that would fill me up everytime I'd so much as hear his footsteps nearing my bedroom. It used to be the most terrifying thing to listen to at night. But I don't have to worry about that anymore.

This isn't about my father, this is something else.

Timmy's been knocked out in my bedroom for hours and Aaron still hasn't woken up. I wanted to go in and check on my brother, see if he was up so we could have a talk. Like we used to when things would get fucked up. But when I creaked his door open he was out cold and I didn't have it in me to wake him up from his peaceful state.

So I downed my second cup of coffee and I flipped through the weird magazines that Aaron had laid out on the coffee table. I didn't read anything of the pages though, I just stared at the photos of the designer bags and the fancy high heels that probably cost more than me and Aaron's monthly rent and I let out a tired sigh.

Life felt so unfair sometimes. And this was one of those times. A few weeks ago when Miles didn't ambush me at the masquerade party and Gina wasn't dating my brother I would have never expected my life to change so much in such a short time span. I was happy. My life was perfect. The only flaw was that Timmy was in California but he's back now and he might not leave and that made my life feel great for once.

But Miles ruined it for me. He's the reason my head won't stop aching and my foot keeps tapping every few minutes out of sheer frustration. I replay every moment I ever spent with Miles. At the parties, at the coffee house, at the library. I try to find clues or signals he might have dropped somewhere in his sentences but nothing comes to mind.

Then my phone vibrates beside me and I look at the screen with my eyebrows knitted together.

Unknown
I need to talk to you.

Ella
Who is this?

Unknown
Miles.

Ella
How did you get my number?

Unknown
I'll tell you everything.
All of it.
Just meet me at the coffee house.
Alone.

Ella
Right now?

Unknown
Yes.
I'll be waiting.

I look at my bedroom door that I left slightly open. I want to go in there and wake Timmy up so I can tell him where I'm headed, so he knows who I'm meeting. I know that's probably the sensible thing to do considering how much Miles is capable of. But for some reason I don't want to. I know he'll fight me on it. I also know he'll offer to come with me but he can't come with.