In Your Eyes ✧ Timothée Chalamet

10 - good intentions

E L L A

The camping trip was like a rollercoaster ride. Scary at times, exhilarating, but also extremely uncomfortable. I learned a lot though, and I would redo that trip in a heartbeat even with all the bugs and the extra descriptive stories of Aaron's sex life that I did not need to hear.

We spent the night cramped up in the tent together. All three of us. Aaron made sure to lay in between me and Timmy which set us off into another argument but eventually we fell asleep having been so worn out from our many fights.

I woke up with a cramp in my back in the morning and it still hasn't gone away but we're finally back home in our bug free apartment and as Timmy packs up some of the the stuff he has lying around my room I choose to call Noelle and Sam.

I haven't spoken to them since they both left to Hawaii. They didn't even come to say goodbye because I wasn't in a good mental state back then. I was so depressed, so torn up over Drew's death that even if they'd came by to say goodbye I wouldn't have heard them. It would have gone in one ear and out the other, and both Noelle and Sam knew that. That's why they avoided the dreadful saying goodbye to me.

But I'm better now. In fact, I'm so good that nothing bothers me anymore. I don't think about Drew unless something reminds me of him. Like seeing his door when we got back from the camping trip and seeing the bench he used to sit in all the time whenever I'd pass by him as I was leaving. And I don't care about my father.

I've realized dwelling over what he did hasn't helped me, and it will never help me. I'm writing a new chapter in my life. One that doesn't involve my dad or my dead best friend. But I still have a few things I need to do to move forward. Like call Noelle and Sam and tell them I'm okay, and get in the car with Timmy so he can face his parents with his bruised face and his now slightly healed lip.

Timmy stops packing up his stuff for a moment and looks at me. 'Are you scared?' He asks and I don't know what he's referring to. Is he talking about if I'm scared to talk to my friends or if I'm scared to face his parents after my own father beat him up.

I answer 'yes' because that was my initial reply to both questions and he puts down his duffle bag and sits beside me in the bed. 'I'm scared too. I don't know what my parents will think. I just hope they know it wasn't your fault.'

'Me too.' I murmur realizing which situation he was referring to. Timmy kisses my shoulder before he nuzzles me with his head. I let out a laugh as I feel his soft curls brushing up against my shoulders and tickling me and then I turn towards him and let him capture my lips in a sweet gentle kiss.

He pulls away. 'So.. are you calling Noelle or not?'

I sigh frustratedly. 'I just don't know what to say Timmy. I've been such a bad friend. When things finally got better between us I got all sad and distant again.'

'That wasn't your fault though. And she knows that. Your friend killed himself, you were in mourning.' Surprisingly his honesty doesn't make me shudder anymore. Last week when Timmy would drop the suicide bomb on me I'd sit there wide eyed and holding back tears.

But I slowly start to feel better and stronger as I come to terms with the fact that Drew is gone. And he's never coming back no matter how much I cry over his loss. 'She asks about you everyday you know? Her and Sam texted me a few times but I haven't gotten back to them. I got so caught up with you and the concert and your dad and the camping trip that I never texted them back to say you're better.'

He caresses my hair, a gesture that was so simple yet so full of love. He was so kind, and so good to me and I smiled to show him my appreciation for him. 'Well then.. I guess it'll be a surprise.' He pecks my lips one more time before he stands up grabbing his duffle bag and sending me a hopeful grin before he exits my bedroom.