In Your Eyes ✧ Timothée Chalamet

20 - back to the concrete jungle

T I M O T H É E

Ever since Ella told me about that douchebag that creeped her out at a frat party I've been a lot more anxious lately.

The way she spoke about him to me on the phone, she almost sounded scared. But I wasn't scared. I know what this is. He's trying to be mysterious, he's finding shit out about her, whilst leaving her in the dark. He knows her name, her friend group, what parties she likes to attend. And she doesn't know anything about him other than what he chooses to tell her.

Miles Moreno. Seriously? What kind of a name is that? It sounds like something he made up, something to make him seem more enigmatic. But I'm not falling for his shit. And I told Ella that if he comes up to her again I'll gladly beat the shit out of him when I make it back home and I mean it.

I've never threatened to do that to a guy that's tried to get with her before. I mean I did fantasize about punching Drew a few times when I saw him kissing Ella but I was never actually going to bring that fantasy to life. But with Miles, I meant what I said to Ella with every bone in my body.

I haven't met the guy yet but I can already tell he's an egotistical prick who has so much free time on his hands that he's practically stalking my girlfriend. I mean come on. He showed up at the coffee house that her and her friends like to hang out at out of the blue. Ella's practically there all the fucking time, she FaceTimes me there whenever she's trying to study in a place with good wi fi and not once did this asshole show up.

But miraculously just at the right timing after he gave her a whole speech about how he wants her and how he knows who she is better than she knows who she is, he shows up at her favorite spot in town.

Sounds like a load of bull to me.

I try to hold back the fuming anger in me though.

I fly back to New York tonight, and I celebrate thanksgiving with my family and Ella tomorrow and it's killing me that I'm not sitting on a plane right now on my way to be with her.

I don't have a car out here in California. I left Lola back home with Ella and I asked Xavier to drive me to the airport a week in advance and he agreed, but this morning he shot me a text saying he can't make it. Probably because he went partying last night and met up with some girl. Honestly such a fucking dick move on his part but I had no time to dwell on it.

I ordered a cab and it got to my place late because it was rush hour here in Cali, and now I'm probably not going to make it to the airport on time because we're stuck in traffic.

Out of pure rage I shoot Xavier a couple of fuck you texts because I feel like this is partially his fault. But then I turn off my phone and let out a loud sigh.

I've been so stressed out lately, and it's not even due to the workload my professors have been dumping on me it's so much more than that. Even before Ella told me about Miles the asshole I was crazy nervous all the time. The only thing I could complete without facing any trouble was the work I had to turn in for all of my classes. But other than that I've been hopeless lately.

I barely leave the house. Everytime Xavier forces me to go out with him I find myself in the weirdest situations. We'll grab some lunch at McDonald's and I'll be too scared to ask the workers for some extra ketchup packets, or we'll go to the mall and I'll be on the verge of a panic attack when someone so much as looks my way and Xavier even took me to the beach last week but I spent the entire time reading a book and ignoring the scary thoughts that settled themselves in my head.

I felt like everyone was watching me. At McDonald's, at the mall, at the beach and even during lectures I'll freak out when someone taps on my shoulder and asks for a pencil or asks me for simple directions. I don't know what's gotten over me but I despise it because I've never been like this. This isn't me. I've never been so fucking scared of what other people think about me. Of how other people perceive me.