The Hunger Games - Raining Fire [[EDITING]]

Chapter 28

a/n: Finally found a good updating time for this story! ;) 

once you read this, you'll notice that this is practically the same chapter, but with more detail, and it's on Peeta's POV. It is also set slightly before the first version =)) 

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Peeta's POV

To all those people who are disappointed, and angry that I couldn't act better towards Katniss and give her more respect, this is why I've been acting like an idiot (not gonna go extreme on language again, but more like the D word)...

Earlier...

I love her, her seam green eyes match her lightly toned skin and her dark her when braided, and her personality stands out the most. Her bright, but strong, willing, personality really makes her Katniss Mellark. And obviously I love her, as much as I'd love a family.

However, this may sound odd and selfish, but I've always been planning for Katniss to have her water broken, and for me to be the supporting part of it - for her and I to explore more, dig deeper and go lower (literally)! I've always dreamt of having at least one child of our own. A little Mellark. Maybe even two!

I'm sure Katniss wouldn't mind me passing down the family name with a son, and for a female to have kids as well. Even though it has only been a couple weeks (or more) after marriage, I want this to work out great.

So I decided for Katniss to at least cool off and relax for a bit before I ask her.

"Katniss honey," I say, whilst sitting down in a comfortably on the couch. 

"Yes Peeta?" she yells. 

I say politely, "Come, sit" whilst patting her couch, Katniss walks over with a warm cup of tea with my favourite tea cup and a cup of Espresso in a red tea cup with to white coffee coasters.

"I was wondering..." 

"-if you wanna go...on honeymoon?" 

"Well, not exactly..." I say, asking her to try and have kids isn't easy! I literally don't know how to tell her!

"Then what?" 

I stutter, "Well........I, er I-I I wanna-" I cut myself off. I couldn't try and tell her what I really want, even though I couldn't like without doing it... 

Katniss said anxiously, "Peeta, you all right? You've been there for hours!" Katniss looks concerned. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine. It has only been 45 minutes," I answer, knowing that I'm lying. Yes, I lied. And have lied ever since I was little. But it's a human error, I didn't feel like telling her.

She smiles, "Yeah, well in my defence, it felt like hours. And are you SURE you are okay? It seems as if you want something, need something, or just have something to get off your chest." Then, I feel Katniss' hand resting on mine.

"I love you and you can count on me, remember that," she winks at me as I smile.

"Yeah; but in my situation, it is really difficult to handle or deal with anything. And I cannot tell anyone, until..." my voice trails away. I cannot risk to say anymore. I can't afford to upset anyone more than the state of me at this time.

"Til when?!" she asked, twice.

Awkward Silence.

"I just can't say, okay? Can you trust me on this one?" I forced it out of me.

"Well, how would I know whether I can trust you or not??!" Katniss says, more of a shout in fact. Ouch! I didn't see that coming. I was surprised, but confused in a way as well. This makes me feel furious and guilty. It's as if I really can't be trusted! It hurt. It's painful. Especially coming from your own wife. And if it did come out the wrong way, why did she say it?

Katniss and I exchange looks, she blushes and give an 'oops, didn't mean it' look whilst I gave an 'um, that's not what I expected...' look. I think she meant it. But have some sort of feeling in me that she didn't...

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ranted. 

"Oh, I did-" she starts. 

"What, so you meant what you said?" I yelled (I butt in). 

"NO! I wasn't meant to say that. It was just that the words came out wrong! I'm sorry!" she cries back. 

"I always say things like I mean it, unlike you...!" I back-chatted her. Then, the next thing I know, I'm being slapped right across the face by my wife, who now seems to not trust me and is like a control freak who lies.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she gasped. 

"It means, whenever I apologize, I do it meaningfully, but you do rush and don't think about what you say!" I grunted.

"I do!" she snaps back. 

"No you don't," I complain. At this point, I'm beginning to think and have some idea that Katniss is babyish. I mean, she's acting like a five-year-old! Even worse for lying.

Katniss shrieks, "Yes I do!!" 

"THEN WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?! Huh? You lied to me, damn you!" I yell at the heat of the moment. The pressure was on me. I needed to.tell her something that I should've before, but left it to now, when she is in the wrong.

"I didn't lie, Peeta! Please believe me!" she sniffs, almost in a sobbing voice, "please,"

"No!" I cry while storming off. As soon as I left the room, I slammed the door shut but heard crying. Sobbing. It must be Katniss. Obviously. It would not be anyone else.

Because of me. Because of me, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have. It wouldn't have been as bad as I thought. I felt like I had no choice, when I did. Though it was hard to tell the truth at the heat of the moment. I couldn't face it. I avoided all the damage, and have created an even bigger relationship problem. Worst thing is, it's with Katniss, my own wife. But now, things are off to a bad start.

She probably thinks I'm an idiot, 'cause I am. She probably thinks I made a fool outta myself, 'cause I did. I didn't realize how my choices would strongly affect her emotionally. I would find it hard not to cry, whether I'm her or me. I don't blame her. Afterall, it IS my fault. I made these decision. But I tried as hard as possible not to blame it on me, to change the situaion so I don't feel like I am scarred for life, that the guilt would stay in me forever.

I am really finding it hard to apologize, what to do and say. I bet with the mistakes I made, she won't forgive me...