The Diary Of a Gopika

Call of Love

That was the auspicious full moon night of ashvin maas. There was something exceptionally beautiful about that night, not particularly about the moon, but the way it made me feel. Drenched completely in the moonlight, Vrindavan looked like a bride on her wedding day.

The cold breeze was blowing my curls with utmost softness. It felt like you were caressing my hair with your hands. I felt your touch in every strand of my hair.

So much time has passed since I hit the bed but sleep was just not meant for me that night.

Just then, the sound of your flute reached my ears. It never sounded more hypnotic, for when it started, I could hardly stop myself. Something unusual dragged me, as if I was being called from where I belong to — my real adobe.

I so wanted to adorn myself with the prettiest lehenga, flower braided hair, kajal in my eyes & alta on my palms to look peculiarly beautiful when I appear before you that night, but those waves of tunes from your flute made me so restless that I couldn't even manage to look into the mirror & set my chunni at right place. However, I knew these external adornments never pleased you as much as the inner ones did.

Is it only me who felt all this? Or is this call being made for everyone? It was definitely not just for me, neither was it for everyone. It was the 'Call of Love' — only for the ones who love you, or the ones you love, or may be for the ones who possess this ability to sense love in its purest form.

They stopped me, dragged me in & trapped me between the walls, saying - an ideal woman is not supposed to break the boundaries created by society. But little did they know, that they could only put a fence around my body, as my soul travelled along with the sound of the flute that day. Leaving behind every relation, limitation & hesitation identified by this body.

And finally, I followed your flute steps and ended up at a place whose existence was never known before. Nor to me, nor to anyone else.

It seemed secretive, yet open enough to release all the burdens my soul carried from so many births. Stars were shining, the moon was smiling, trees were dancing, night jasmines were blooming, and air was filled with the fragrance of your garland. It seemed like Vaikuntha had come down to earth.

Even after multiple attempts, I couldn't recollect the traces of the path through which I reached this place. Your maya again! Ughhhh!

There I found so many other Gopis too. Huge in numbers. A few of them were my sakhis from Braj, few whose faces seemed familiar but names unknown, and few who looked as if they were straight from the heavens. They all looked as amazed as I was, with longing in their eyes, love in their hearts, and all their minds occupied by a single thought — YOU.

And how can my eyes ever miss to witness the divine vision of Radhey? There she was, like poetry in motion – whose aura can only be felt but not described. I could clearly sense that unlike us, she had known this place since forever for obvious reasons. How would she not know something you know, considering she is you!?

Like a flower attracts the nectar feeding birds, you have gathered all of us, with the madhur dhun of your baansuri. As the sound approached closer, our hearts screamed louder.

After a prolonged teasing session, you finally made an appearance, putting an end to the deep longing from countless births.

I can never put into words, what all I felt seeing you that day. I will not even attempt to do so because I know I will fail miserably. My eyes were blessed! I couldn't afford to miss your vision even for a heartbeat, by blinking my eyes. Such was your out of the world form. A true manmohan you are, in every sense!

And then, even before we could process all this completely, the sweet melodies of your flute vanished & your harsh words hit us.

"My dear bholi gopis, what are you all doing here at this hour of the night when the whole town is sleeping? Isn't it wrong to leave your homes, husbands & duties for the sake of a stranger man? Don't you think this is against Dharma? How will you answer your family the next morning? Most importantly, what justification will you give to yourself for being so shameless? Listen to me & go back to where you belong, before it's too late."

We knew you were not looking for an answer. You just wanted to know if we realise what we were doing & why. So that no one, not even our inner voice can guilt trip us later when we think of this night. You wanted us to have an answer, not for anyone else but for ourselves. And yes, we had one. A very beautiful & clear one. Without wasting a second we replied,

"Hey murari, we have been serving our husbands, managing our homes & fulfilling all the duties of this body, all our lives. We did our best to satisfy all the relations of this physical body, but what about our soul? Wouldn't it be unfair if we do not do justice to the only relation our soul holds? Is it not our duty to serve our aatma-bandhu? Our eternal partner? Our supreme swami? Those four walls we live in are not our homes, but you – Krishna, are our real home. The place we all originally belong to. So we haven't left our partners & homes, we just came back to the real one. We have done enough of our grihasta dharma, now please don't stop us from fulfilling our parama-dharma. Our hearts do not carry any doubt, guilt, or lust; our only desire is you. Kindly embrace us in your arms & free us from this false identity.'

You smiled! We knew you were proud of us for how innocent our hearts were, yet how matured our thoughts were. We passed in your pareeksha, yet again!

The stage was all set for the most beautiful night in the History Of Srishti – The Rasa Poornima.

But before it began, you decided to win our hearts with your words.

Radhey radhey <3