The Diary Of a Gopika

Unusual Ache

Being an ignorant gwalini that I am, I was never so good at articulating my thoughts into words. But I wonder what force behind me is making me write all these otherwise indescribable emotions of mine through this Dairy. It's only & only your will I suppose.

Among all the innumerable leelas that you carry out on daily basis, this leela of yours pained me the most, until I realised it is one.

It was just another regular day in Vrindavan until a messenger from Dwaraka came to us rushing with a piece of information that snatched the ground beneath our feet. Looking at the frown lines on his forehead, we realised that it's certainly not a great news for us.

"You won't be pleased to hear this but Dwarkadhish is suffering from a very severe headache since past few days. None of the world's top vaidyas & bestest upacharaas were capable enough to heal his pain. It is only growing worse each passing day, and becoming unbear... "

I just couldn't hear the next few lines of him describing your pain. That moment, all the Dwaraka's Gomti ghat waters rolled down my eyes uncontrollably and I could sense the same with other gopis around me. The only thought stuck in my head was – What can I do take his pain away? Should I pray? Run to you? Or just sit and cry? I didn't know.

Only then, that man spoke again :

"But according to Narada Muni, the only remedy for this ache is to apply the dust from the feet of his loved ones on his forehead. This & only this can cure the otherwise incurable pain now."

Sighing a breath of relief, I exclaimed, "Ohh, that's super easy! SO HE IS ALREADY CURED NOW. RIGHT??? There are so many people who love him out there, I hope not just his family but all the residents in Dwarka would have rushed to give the dust of their feet for their beloved Dwarkadhish. Phew! Long live Narada Muni!"

But surprisingly, his face didn't indicate any sign that says "YES" to our assumption.

"LIKE WHAT? IS HE STILL IN PAIN?? HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE???", we cried.

Puzzled with the uncertainty on his face, we repeatedly bugged him to reveal what had happened next, until he finally opened his mouth to give the biggest shock of our lives.

"Not even a single person is ready to give the dust of their feet to Krishna – who's considered no less than Narayana. They say he's meant to be worshipped, served & celebrated but not insulted this way by allowing the dust on their feet to touch his body. They'll undoubtedly be reserved with a place in the hell – is what they believe if they do this act. Painfully though, everyone clearly denied this.", he revealed in a low tone. His face revealed that somewhere deep inside, he partially agreed with them too.

Even before he could finish what he was saying, all of us right there, including Radha, without a second thought, immediately gathered the dust stuck on our feet, collectively stuffed it in a potli, and handed it over to him hastily.

"Just rush back to Dwaraka right now, and apply this on his forehead. Our hearts won't be at peace until he's healed. So please leave straight away, without wasting a second here.", we cried!

But how will he leave like that? Just like that? Without your purpose of teaching love to the world is entirely fulfilled. No one can ever come in between you & your plans. Right??

"ARE YOU ALL FOR REAL?", he yelled out of disbelief.

"Do you all moorkh gwalinis even realise what you just did? If I go on to do what you asked me to, even Narayana cannot save you from entering the doors of hell. Don't you all feel scared or embarrassed for life, when the dust of your dirty feet touches Shri Krishna's divine body? This love is driving you all craazy!! I warn you all, don't fall foolish to this level that you fail to differentiate between right and wrong. Just give it a thought once again."

Ughhh! Firstly, we were getting damn impatient & furious for every second that he was wasting here arguing with us, that will result in you bearing this pain for some more time, which was unbearable for us.

"Hey dooth bhaiyya, the thought itself that our dear Krishna is in pain, is already making us experience the highest of hells right now. Guess the hell you are talking about would certainly be a much better place than this feeling of getting teared apart imagining his pain. We aren't scared of getting an entry ticket to the hell or of any mouths that will wrong us for doing this. All we're bothered about is HIS PAIN, and WHAT CAN BE DONE TO HEAL IT. If this is the only way to get him rid of this pain, we assure you, we accept with all our heart & soul, any kind of consequences that will hit us for doing this sin (that you consider it to be). It'll not be a hell but heaven for us, for we get it as a fruit for taking away Krishna's pain. So just run immediately without killing any more time here. PLEASE LEAVE!!!", we begged.

That day, he left with the dust of gopis feet, and left all the layers of dust that covered his mind, in the sacred mud of Vrindavan. Tears welled up in his eyes, as his belief was totally shaken up witnessing such selfless love. The overwhelming feeling he experienced that moment, could be clearly seen through his folded hands.

Hmm.. though I know the intent behind this was to teach parishuddha prema to this world yet again through us, but I'm still mad at you for allowing yourself to bear that pain for so long, which in turn pained us the most.

Guess you are deprived of proper entertainment in Dwaraka; playing with our hearts has became your favourite sport now.

Radhey radhey!