The Diary Of a Gopika

Home

"Oops!", but really, who would not love to bump into you? Though my eyes only search for you all the time, to actually see your dreamy figure jump out of my thoughts is a different kind of high.

"Welcome home, Priye! This is that missing part of your puzzle that you hunted for, all your life — GOLOKA. A place that we created together. A place even heavens envy. A place where we are always together. From eternities – to eternites. Our ultimate destination. Our home!", you said, with the brightest smile on.

That single line - "WELCOME HOME" made all the pain of my human experience worth it. I felt like dancing for a moment, crying in another, and just take a happy shower under the waterfalls in the very next. 'Ecstasy' would be a small word for what I felt at that instant. I felt 'KRISHNA', would probably be the best phrase to describe my feeling. I'm sure you're hearing all this, Kaanha. You never spared anything that makes rounds inside my head anyway.

Getting back myself to senses and acting normal were two toughest things to do when you're around. But unlike always, this time, I somehow managed to look into your eyes and speak my heart out without countless practice sessions inside my head. An achievement I must say!

"Krishna, you know how I feel right!? To finally stand here, with you? All the pain, tears, longing & heartbreak were worth it. Feels so good to be back! My soul is relieved for it found the reason behind the strange connection it always felt for you. I was right, I always belonged to you. But then, even this isn't my final home." , before you could even respond, I continued -

"Wait! Now don't act like you're surprised or something, haan!? I know that you know what I mean!"

We smiled at each other, and turned our eyes to the most beautiful sight any pair of eyes could ever witness.

There came the enchantress — Dressed in Krishna's favourite blue & gold, adorned with the world's most fragrant flowers, her hair flowing like a dark waterfall, thick layer of kohl circled her big lotus eyes & an affectionate smile on her lips. With the radiance of the sun & calmness of the moon, she carried whole galaxy in her eyes. Her face – Her face looked like a dream! A dream even beyond the imagination of the poets, tapasya of rishis & description of vedas. As always, she seemed like a breathing form of love.

Bowing down to the Goddess of love, my eternal swamini, my parama sakhi, my very source of existence — my Radhey, I just couldn't stop washing her feet with my tears, until she lifted me up for a hug.

THERE – I FELT HOME. From where my existence, all my thoughts, words & feelings came from; and most importantly, where my KrishnaPrema came from. The "PREMA" in my KrishnaPrema was you, Radhey. It will always be you.

I didn't realise till how long I lived in that one blissful hug. For one whole eternity? Or just for a fraction of a moment? But it left an everlasting magic on me.

Looking at my state, I knew you would have sensed that my river self has finally found its ocean.

The only words I remember saying that moment was : "She, Kaanha, is my real home — Radha."

'From her we emerge,
Into her we merge!!'

Radhey radhey radhey!!