The Diary Of a Gopika

Colors of Love

Filling up this Dairy after quite a time now, and that's because something very incredible happened today. I know you are very well aware of all the happenings in & around the globe, and yet there's certain pleasure in pouring my heart to you through this Dairy; because I'm sure I would never be able to utter even a single word when you actually stand opposite to me. What to do? The moment I see you, my world stops. I'm so absorbed into your blue self that I cannot help but shamelessly stare at your face for hours, but never dare to open my heart to you. A fool?? Yes!

It's Holi today! The festival of love & colors. Vrindavan has always been known for celebrating the best holis. People think it's because of the rich grandeur, huge decors & lovely ambience here. But naa, it's your presence that makes this place colorful. You Kaanha, are the real festival of Vrindavan, without whom it is just another name of an ordinary small town.

As I passed through the narrow lanes today to fetch yamuna water, I came across little gopas & gopikas running around chasing each other while having cute banters on who's gonna color whom first. I couldn't help but see all of us in them and got reminded of how this custom of love all started first.

How can I ever forget those heavenly holis we celebrated in your presence? The way you painted this whole Braj in blue & drowned everyone in the color of your infinite love; those light hearted banters between Barsana choris & Vrindavan choras that always started with heated challenges and ended with the cold waters from pichkaries; those innumerable varieties of sweet dishes we fed each other with, filling not just our tummies but hearts as well.

It was a five day festival starting with Lath maar Holi & ending with Rangon ki Holi. Keechad wali Holi, Phoolon ki Holi & Laddo wali Holi were celebrated on the rest three days inbetween.

Lath maar Holi : where we gopis ran behind you gopas playfully with sticks and you boys defended yourselves with a shield.

Keechad wali Holi : where we all rolled in the mud & covered each other with the same. Though we looked like buffoons, it still gave so much happiness.

Phoolon wali Holi : where we showered baskets of different varieties of flowers on each other & felt like some Devis & Devatas from heavens.

Laddo wali Holi : where we hit everyone with round sweet laddos & fed the left over ones to each other.

Rangon ki Holi : where we soaked each other in different colors & made the whole Braj look like a canvas painting.

The way all of us rushed to color you, get colored by you, and more than anything – to shed our actual colors & dissolve into yours'. I can never forget how all our cheeks turned PINK the very moment you colored us in BLUE. Those splashes of water from your pichkari when touched, felt like Ganga snaan.

And now, Holi can never be the same again. From the time you left, I didn't allow any color to touch me. What to do? That day with you in the chariot, left all my colors too. I used innumerable excuses to not get colored and got away every time. Nothing could ever convince me to play Holi ever.

But today, when I reached the ghats of yamuna to fill up my pots, there came this little charming boy whose face glittered like gold. He tried to communicate something that I failed to understand, so he moved his tiny hands in a gesture asking me to get on my knees to his height. As I leaned in, he came close to my ears in an attempt to whisper something, and all of a sudden, applied color on both my cheeks with his tiny soft hands. Before I could even sense the scene and get hold of him, he flew away like a butterfly leaving his color on me. The sounds of his vibrant laugh are going to haunt me forever. I could literally hear him say - "Oye! you can escape from this whole world, but don't even try that with me. Holi mubarak!! "

The color was BLUE, and that was undoubtedly YOU! What could I even say in return except blushing openly like a goofball, unable to hide my delight. Hey leeladhar, your leelas are beyond my wildest imaginations.

But now, how do I answer my mother in-law who's continuously throwing those suspicious stares at me for sitting like a love struck clown all day, with that color on my face?? Yet again, you playfully entangled me in your maya jaal that I would never want to free myself from. As I always say – such a chaliya you're, but certainly a cute one!

Radhey radhey <3