The Diary Of a Gopika

Radha's Krishna

As we reached Kusum Sarovar, sitting there was Radha Rani, looking into those blue waters, probably seeing your reflection in the place of hers'.

Looking at her divine form, Uddhava's hands involuntarily joined out of admiration. The man who was all ranting about the highness of his philosophy & wisdom a few moments ago, could hardly gather words now. Probably it's Radhey's infinite love for you that touched him too, as he neared her.

" Radhey, he's Uddhava – a great philosopher and your Krishna's dear friend. He's here to teach us Bramha gyana, that will help us get over our love for Krishna, which according to him is nothing more than a bubble of illusion. We thought you might need his lessons too..?", we said, expecting her to get our indirect.

That day, Radhey's words not just turned Uddhava's world upside down, but also changed the definition of love for this whole world. With a gentle smile, just like a mother explains to her innocent child, she spoke :

"Uddhava, the thing is, you & I won't be sitting and conversing here like this if love is not in existence. Love is not just a reference that you find in poetry, art or fantasy. It is the basic source of our living."

(From the time you left, Radha hardly spoke. I don't even remember when I heard her voice last time. All thanks to Uddhava for today we finally got to hear her words. Almost felt like we heard the sweet sound of your flute again.)

"Is it possible for a flower to get over its fragrance? For the stars to get over their spark? Or for the peacock to get over its colors? NO! Just like that we cannot get over Krishna, for there's no way to get over something that you're born with & for.

What if I say it's Krishna who's sitting here, lost in the thoughts of Radha, and it's Radha who's there in Mathura fulfilling all his duties?

What if you get to know it's Radha who sent you here, and it's Krishna to whom you came to flaunt your knowledge?

What if in reality, Krishna never left Vrindavan, and it's not us but he – who's still not over this place, people & prema?", she halted her speech right there.

WAIT? WHAT?? For the very first time, I couldn't fathom what she said. Or maybe I did but was just unable to believe the possibility of such incredibly beautiful thought.

But yes, even before I could unriddle her words, to our great astonishment, YOU appeared there in the place of Radha. I'm sure this time I didn't imagine. YOU REALLY DID APPEAR!

The same rain cloud complexion, dressed in a bright pitambar, blue headband with a peacock feather adorned on its top, vanamala dropping from your neck, those big beautiful eyes just like lotus petals, and that enchanting smile — THAT ONE SMILE, worth losing ourselves for. Ahh! How much I missed this sight!

Felt like suddenly my world stopped. I wish it really did, but while all our eyes were busy drinking the nectar of your vision, just within the next heartbeat, Radha was back on the same spot in her same old form. We all stood there in disbelief, with open mouths & enlarged eyes, unable to soak in all the unusual things we just witnessed. So your Radhey is no less mayavi, haan???

That day I realised, you actually never left Vrindavan. You were still here in between us, in the form of Radha. How fortunate are we, to be able to breathe the same air as her. That very second, I couldn't stop myself from bowing down not to our favourite sakhi or fellow gopika, but to the 'Goddess of love' that she is.

One day, the world will know this too, what a great sin it is to differentiate between you two. And whenever taken, there'll never be even a slightest distance of an 'and' between your names. It's forever gonna be :

'RadheyKrishna!'
'RadheyShyam!!'
'RadheyGovinda!!!'

As I got back to my senses, the first thing I saw was Uddhava washing Radha's feet with his tears, realising how tiny his wisdom was, and how vast her love is. It is to experience this prema, that you sent him here. Though teaching him all these lessons was a child's play for you, you made sure he meets Radha & understands love in the truest sense.

Uddhava seemed unidentifiable. That man who came here with an intent to teach us life lessons, now went back, learning a lesson for life. All the heat of his pride, melted with the cold buttermilk of prema that we served. With tears flowing from his eyes, and love overflowing from his heart, he looked like a lovestruck Gopika of Braj.

Throughout his way back to Mathura, he was only singing one name over and over again — "Radhey! radhey!"

Radhey radhey!