The Diary Of a Gopika

Queen of Paradises

And there comes GOLOK — The Queen of all Paradises. Reaching there, I felt like a little bird who found its way back home after endless wandering.

How can one even attempt to describe this world of wonders? How to even put into words it's divine beauty, that can only be felt?

As I entered, with my very first step, so many scenes from the past flashed in my head all at once. The times we spent here dancing in the gardens, sporting beneath the waterfalls, swinging on the floral swing sets, riding on horses & elephants along the bridges, singing & playing divine music in huge chambers, sitting under the moon for hours together & resting in your arms while counting the stars.

For a moment, I wondered how I even forgot the existence of this place? KrishnaMaya ofcourse! Because maybe you believed we should have one whole proper human experience without any memories of our eternal identity. Very well planned though, but you still couldn't make us forget your love. During our stay on the earth, only Krishna was stranger to us, but not the things that we felt for him.

You remember our very first proper meet? When I was walking through the streets of Vrindavan with my fellow Gopis, carrying the pots on my head one above the other with fresh milk; someone hit my pot with a stone from a distance and within no time, I was miserably drenched from top to bottom. Furiously, I turned back to hit the one who was the reason behind this state of mine; but to my utter amazement, when I actually turned around, before me was the most beautiful sight human eyes could ever witness — YOU. Krishna, to put in the right words, you looked like a fruit of all my prayers.

How does this boy already seem so dear to me in the very first sight? I had no idea! The only thought I had at that moment was - I can move heaven & earth to let this vision stay in my eyes forever! From turning around with an intent to say - "That's mine! Why did you break my pot?", to actually say - "I'm all yours! I won't mind even if you break my heart!" — your one sight did so much to me.

Only when I was lost in those beautiful memories of our first meeting in Vrindavan, Goloka's charm pulled me back. I just couldn't get enough of the SHEER BEAUTY that this place is.

Here, flowers are always blooming in all seasons, birds are chirping divine chants of 'radhey radhey' all the time, peacocks are dancing expressing their love for the lord, the tiny bells tied around the necks of calves are ringing sweetly, and the cuckoos are singing variety of tunes. There are not just one but multiple kamadhenus & kalpavrikshas yielding to desires. Waterfalls are continuously pouring amrita – a drop of which even devatas are deprived of. There's only greenery everywhere, not even a single dry leaf is spotted.

Gosh, THIS PLACE! This place is not heaven, it is something more than that — HOME. Home where every creature is free. Nothing bound them in any manner. There are neither rules nor ropes here, everyone was liberated & high on bliss.

And ohh this garden, how can I not remember this place? THAT DEVASTATING CURSE! THOSE ENDLESS CRIES! OUR LAST MOMENTS! This was exactly where our parting conversation took place. The very place where I realised, sometimes words can stab harder than weapons.

"We all need to go through one human experience for certain higher purposes and you can carry nothing from here. When I say nothing, not even memories. This is gonna be one hell of a painfully beautiful ride for all of us, but I'm sure my dearest gopis will shine through every pain & turn into an epitome of love for the universe.", your words pierced our hearts.

"How easy, Krishna? How effortlessly you have articulated this tragedy into such simple words? You would have asked for our life, but why did you have to steal our only reason to live, our most precious treasure – our memories. And how do we live without this feeling called 'Krishna'? I don't think we will be able to survive in the Bhuloka even for a moment and you ask us to do this for ONE WHOLE LIFETIME? More than the curse, it is these words that are breaking us.", we wailed inconsolably.

"Ohh my dearest companions, how do you all not see that everything in existence can be eventually taken away, but not the love that you experience for someone. And why do you all tend to see only one side of this? Any curse can be turned into a blessing only by shifting our perspective. Just enlarge your vision, and you'll know how there's another beautiful side of it, that you all conveniently ignored.

Okay, tell me, don't you all want to fall in love? ALL OVER AGAIN? Be those little innocent love struck gopis? Have butterflies in your stomach? Blush on my flirting words? Go through the 'falling in love' phase again? Experience that sweet pain of longing? Taste the thrill of secret meetings? Imagine getting a chance to fall in love with your man again, all fresh, and this time even harder! If I were you, I would never be foolish enough to lose the chance to experience this roller coaster ride!", you smoothly convinced us into falling in your trap yet again.

That is KRISHNA for you! May it be a cave or curse, he never fails to find that spark of light in the corner of it, irrespective of the darkness. And in case there is no light, HE WILL BE THAT LIGHT!

Man, how you smiled through those last moments knowing more than anyone else, it is you for whom this journey is gonna be the toughest. Because you being the Jagannataka sutradhari, will undoubtedly remember everything. My boy always takes the most heaviest things on himself & leaves behind the lighter things for us to carry.

And while I was going through the rush of emotions, there you walked in your Grand Goloka Avtar, like a topping of cherry on my already overwhelmed self.

Radhey radhey!