The Diary Of a Gopika

Confessions with the Creator

"Soo...?? ", you said with that usual flirtatious smile.

"Soo... Parameshwara you are! You know, I'm not even surprised at this point. But the only thing that's bothering me is – you didn't even spare my 'Hey Narayana' talks. Nothing is hidden from you. Ughhh!", I uttered, covering my face with my hands.

Laughing at my silly self, you replied - "Hahahaha! But I have to admit this, your 'Hey Naraayana' talks were super cute. Grumbling to me – about me. I enjoyed them the most."

Your infectious laugh was so vibrant that I couldn't stop gushing over it. Look at you, you're a whole scenery in yourself!

"Ohh Hello!" you said, waving your hands before my eyes that were totally lost in your rain-cloud complexion.

"See, I know I'm an irresistible charmer! But please, stop losing yourself like this after every 2 seconds. How would this conversation even move ahead this way!?", you said, flexing your beauty.

"Ohh, stop embarrassing me, Kaanha! It is not me but you, who keeps spelling your black magic on me every time, taking full advantage of all your godly powers and making me look like a fool at the end." I said, unable to handle the direct.

(Exactly this is the thing. The reason why I restrain from looking into your eyes. You sense even the tiniest whispers of my heart that I would never ever dare to utter. Where to hide my embarrassed self when you dig out all these silliest feelings that my heart had bottled up secretly?)

"Okay! So before you go losing yourself again, let me ask you a question quickly.", your teasing words reached my ears.

"I know your heart has experienced extreme pain in my love. Your love story was more of anguish, tears & longing, and less of romance. Only if I allow you to go back & restart again, this time with a foresight of what your heart's going to face, would you still choose to give it to me, all over again?"

"Hainn?? Is that even a question Mr. Antaryami? Okay, I'll still choose to answer this -

I, in my every lifetime, will serve my heart on your plate, even after being fully aware of its fate. Broken, crushed, or pierced — it will still take only your name. And let me correct your question here, I cannot give you something that's already yours. Okay!?", I said in a little vexed tone – hurt by your stupid question.

Smitten by my expected answer, with affection overflowing from your eyes, you spoke in a consoling tone - "Ayyo, I was just... "

"Testing? right? Pareeksha again!? What is this weird habit of taking pareekshas at every step and enjoying watching your loved ones in an emotional mess? How comfortable right!? You act less like Narayana & more like an examiner? Huh!!" I muttered, pretending to be mad at you.

Melted on hearing this, holding a beautiful guilty smile on your face, you came close to me, held my shoulders lovingly, lifted up my chin with your soft fingers, looked into my eyes, and said -

"My precious one, I'm forever indebted to the selfless love you offered me all your life. Losing yourself every moment to make me win this battle of life, tearing up on my misery & jumping on my victory, smiling on my thoughts & crying over my memories, burning in anguish & yet showering endless rainfall on my crops, and protecting parameshwara himself from all the evil eyes by applying kala tika from your kohled eyes — all you did was to love. You knew nothing but love!

You know, people worship me. But I – I WORSHIP LOVE. I'm conquered only & only by love. And you Gopikas will continue to live in history books for such love – that CONQUERED THE CREATOR. Such is the highness of your love.

I swear on the sacredness of our relationship, wherever there's a mention of selfless love – there will be Gopikas. You are not some ordinary milkmaids who happened to fall in love with a boy from their village; you all are tapasvis, yogis & rishis of highest order who craved for my sannidhya from Treta yuga and received the fruit now in Dwapara yuga. You are one of the reasons that pushed parabrahma to manifest into a human form. Now that you came in contact with me, you are freed from this birth & death loop and will be initiated to shashwata Krishna sannidhya."

Even before I could soak in the lyrics of the beautiful song that I just heard, you went on to say something even more beautiful – that I was dying to hear my entire life.

"Let's go home now! Home in the sense, not those four walls that you assume it to be. It's a place you & I belong to. A place where our every journey starts & marks an end. A place where we are together every moment. A place closest to my heart — your home, Priye! OUR HOME!!!"

I stood there in disbelief – incapable of uttering a word or moving a finger, only shedding an ocean of tears – but this time, out of extreme joy. You wiped them all, as gently as you can, helped me gather my dumbfounded self, and finally brought it back to senses. And adorning this moment a little more, there was a huge pour from the skies.

(You know, being a hopeless romantic that I am – I always manifested for rainfall when I finally get to unite with my love. I might have forgotten, but of course you didn't)

And then we both danced, like two mad people in love. All the pain of my human experience got washed away in this Amrita varsha that flowed from heavens. It cleansed my soul & prepared me for what you had to offer now. My tears screamed — I'M READY!!

Radhey radhey!!