The Diary Of a Gopika

Final Goodbyes

"You wanted to play hide & seek for one last time right? Chalo then!", whispering this into my ears, you disappeared just like God disappears after giving the boon. The sheer suddenness of your move left me blank for a few seconds and then you were nowhere to be found. I just couldn't afford to lose you again, but I was sure this time that I wouldn't. Because I know nothing will come easy to me anyway. Being the ultimate prankster that you are, why would you miss this last chance to tease me?

I then crossed those colorful lanes of Vrindavan, running behind my world & leaving the whole world behind, with each step taking me closer to my eternal home.

Only when I thought I caught you, you disappeared again, as mysteriously as you did before. Your vision vanished in the dust raised from your feet. But I somehow believed this is just your way of guiding me to my home & making sure I'm on the right path.

After a long race, I could sense that taking the next step would mean – Leaving this world of maya & entering into the ultimate reality.

Before I go on to do that, I looked back at this place, for one last time.

VRINDAVAN — a piece of earth, even heavens envied. That name itself stirred up innumerable emotions inside me all at once. All those sweet times of my entire life that I spent here, appeared before my eyes.

I sang, danced & celebrated here; I cried, failed & lost here; I recovered, progressed & attained moksha here;
and most importantly – I found my LOVE here. I know I'm going to live in Goloka with you eternally, still every moment I spent here with you will always remain special to me.

Hey Vrindavan, I will miss you! Thank you for one magical human experience. My heart is full. If at all I'm destined to be born again, I will choose you as my home & keep choosing you every time. You blessed me with a beautiful life and now it's my turn. I bless you with everlasting glory; your soil will be worshipped till the end of the time for it will always have Krishna's foot prints intact; your dust will be adorned by everyone on their foreheads like a sacred tilak; your ghats, gowshaalas, vans & upvans.. each corner of you will have Krishna's memories etched in it forever. Like Kashi is – to Shiva, Vrindavan is – to Krishna; anyone who wishes to know him, should come to you & through you alone will he be understood & attained. 'Radhey radhey' chants will forever ring in every corner of this town. I'm leaving a part of me here, that shall persist till the end of the time. Roaming around these busy streets, bathing in those yamuna waters, carrying pots of milk & curd, giggling with my fellow gopis, dancing in the forests at night, and shedding a tear of contentment every time my Krishna's name is mentioned — I will very much be here, for I know my Radha & Krishna will never leave this place, and so do we Gopikas.

This final good-bye to Braj dham was painful enough to move me into tears.

"I'll ask Kaanha to take me on Vrindavan tours frequently. No, actually everyday. I so miss this place already!", I assured myself.

I can imagine your face right now, Kaanha.. so done with my tantrums & future plans even before leaving this place completely. I could legit hear you saying - "ab toh moh maya tyaago!". But Kaanha, I know your attachment with this place is mutual, it's just that you're better at hiding emotions.

Vrindavan smiled at me, and so did I. Blowing one final goodbye kiss to my Darling Vrindavan, I proceeded to take one final step that opened doors to our eternal HOME.

And there it was, The Queen of all Paradises — GOLOK!

Radhey radhey!