Trouble : Twilight (Edward Cullen x Bella Swan.)

𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙣

«Edwards Point Of View»

Bella had left two hours ago, and the light that shone through the clouds was finally starting to disappear beyond the horizon line. All I could do I was gaze hopelessly out of my windows, looking out onto the forest that looked as if it went on forever.

The slow, two treacherous hours had passed and the only thing on my mind was Bella Swan. I missed her stubborn, clumsy company. I missed getting to carefully brush my fingers through the long tangled bed hair she woke up with in the mornings. I missed the stubborn way she argued with me, and I missed seeing her poor attempts at hiding the way I made her blush. What ran through my mind most was the feeling of my lips pressing against her soft, messy hair.

I sat in my bed, and longed miserably to have her back in my arms so that I could hold her once again. Debussy was quietly playing, and I tried desperately to concentrate enough on the music and my own thoughts to drown out everyone else's. Alice had been trying to talk to me since Bella left, and Rosalie was furious with the way I'd let my blood thirsty instincts take over.

I was too ashamed to face anyone, and too upset with myself to have Alice tell me that everything was okay. Everything was certainly not okay, and I didn't deserve the comfort that Alice's lies would bring. My organs bubbled with fresh guilt, and the thought of what almost happened today made my mind wonder.

I had almost lost control with the girl I was helplessly in love with.

I was baffled by the fact that Bella Swan still wanted to have dinner with me. I still had a chance. I thought that I'd scared her so badly she went into shock, but Jasper promised me that I was wrong. He could feel her emotions, and although she was terrified it wasn't because of me. Jasper had tried to help calm her down, but the stubborn girl's partial immunity to gifted vampire made that difficult. All he could do was feel what she felt, and try to block out some of the fear she felt.

I didn't understand Bella, and why she felt so safe with me. I'd tormented her for months, and not once had a polite interaction with her. I had scared her sick. She'd cowered for months, and her instincts had kept her a safe distance from me. I should have left it at that. I should have suffered beside her in biology every day. I shouldn't have let my curiosity win. Now that we were friends, possibly even more, I had to be even more careful. I had to ignore the overpowering venom that struck my senses when we were together, and the desire I had deep down to drain the blood from her warm, fragile body. I was so drawn to her, and so frustrated by the way her thoughts were so private. It was even more infuriating when I found out that Jasper could still get a sense of her emotion, although it was weak, and Alice could occasionally get snapshots of her future. I wanted the ability to read her mind the way I could with every other human i'd met in my immortal existence.

Bella Swan was secretive, and I'd never craved a humans thoughts, or blood for that matter, in all of my lifetime. I had never yearned for a girls mind, body or heart the way I did hers. Even as a human, I had never been so bewitched and captivated by a lady. I wanted to know her mind inside and out. I craved the answer to the mystery that was Bella Swans biggest fears, weaknesses, strengths and desires.

Being unable to get into her thoughts, but have her constantly running through mine was the most torturous thing I'd ever suffered. It was almost more painful then the struggle of not allowing myself her warm blood. I had never been so obsessed with the idea of protecting another life, and especially not a human girl.

It was all so new to me, but it warmed me to know that even after my instinctual slip up today she felt comfortable enough to lean her head against my chest and cry. Jasper was telling the truth, despite the little scare i'd given her Bella wasn't afraid of me.