Trouble : Twilight (Edward Cullen x Bella Swan.)

𝙁𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙣

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« Bella's Point Of View »

Monday morning was different than most of the sluggish mornings I had lived through in the past weeks. Usually, I would aggressively smash my alarm clock onto snooze and try to block out the daylight with my covers. My attempts would always fail. I would pick out my clothes for the day with little to no thought. Alice had drilled the basics of style into my head with her lectures on fashion, so I managed to look decently presentable every day. No tacky patterns or clashing colours. I would make sure to pull a brush through the rat's nest that was my hair before looking at myself in a mirror, and after that it was downstairs for my first cup of coffee.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes this morning shifted my regular moodiness to a rush of excitement. It was my favourite blue blouse and khaki skirt draped carefully over the back of my desk chair. Both articles of clothing were much too fancy to wear on an average day, however this was a special occasion. It was the outfit that I had settled on for my dinner with Edward tonight.

The thought of getting to officially go on a date with Edward still seemed unreal, and too good to be true. Even with the previous night of tossing and turning and bad dreams, the idea was energizing to me.

The morning passed by dreadfully slow, and I found my mind unable to focus. It was clouded, and drifted back to Edward again and again. I must have imagined every single possible direction that our date could go tonight, most of them ending with Edward realizing he's too good for me. I had imagined spilling a hot beverage of some kind across my outfit, and I had imagined the possibility of him meeting another girl.

I felt so unprepared, and although Alice had tried to give me some dating lessons on the phone mast night, I still felt helpless. I had never been on a date before, and I imagined someone as beautiful as Edward would be much more experienced. He was stunning. I imagined him to be the type of boy that would have had his first kiss in kindergarten on the school bus or in the playground out of the teachers sight. He was so longed for by nearly every girl I had met at school, and chances were that he was in the same god like position back in Alaska.

I found myself mindlessly staring at my feet. They were bringing me to the cafeteria, and I was trailing behind Jess and Mike. They had given up trying to make conversation with me last period, accepting that my mind was else where and not caring enough to ask. They knew that I did not show any interest in dating any of the days that had made moves on me when I first moved to forks, or the ones that had tried again at the start of the year. They would not be expecting me to have a date. Even if they had asked, I'm not sure if I would have shared the truth. I had been unusually quiet all day, my mind been successfully captivated by Edward.

"Good morning, Bella." Alice's cheery voice sung as she came up beside me in the hall. Beside her was Jasper, who kept his normal safe distance from me behind Alice. It was another thing I didn't understand, but I did not mind. I just assumed it was a strange Jasper Cullen thing I did not question. He kept distance from everyone except his family, and Alice. Jasper and I were not close, but I found his company relaxing and he seemed to enjoy when I was around.

"You're feeling better today?" Jasper politely asked, greeting me with a smile and a nod. Jasper and I did not speak much- I never usually saw him alone and when he was tagging along behind Alice she did most of the speaking. He always kindly checked up on me though, and I knew that he cared. I appreciated him. Today he was checking up on me to be more than polite- he was worried. Jasper was referring to my flashback episode yesterday afternoon in the Cullens backyard, and I cringed with embarrassment.

"Much better." I nodded, and Jasper looked satisfied. I was doing much better. I had another nightmare last night, but they were starting to become an every night sort of thing. I was feeling good today, and my mind was too preoccupied with Edward to even think about my flashback. "I'm really sorry- I didn't mean to get so freaked out yesterday, my mind was elsewhere."