We're Still Standing...Book 5

Feeling Lost

Zander POV 

I chickened out and didn't speak to Zeke the next day like I said I would. I saw him the moment I walked into school and everything I wanted to say just left my brain. One look at him and I forget my own name because he is beautiful, there is no denying that. I can see he struggles with himself and has a hard time in school with people picking on him and that didn’t sit well with me. I saw the douchebag Christian start messing with him and my wolf, Shacks took over my body and beat him to a pulp, which I was perfectly fine with. I may have some shit to work through but he is an Alpha's mate, my mate and I have to protect him, even if he thinks I want nothing to do with him. 

I noticed he was unconscious and I gently picked him up, feeling those addicting sparks and inhaled his scent of apples and cinnamon, making me weak in the knees, and carried him all the way to the pack hospital. Uncle Jaylen checked him out and he told me to leave the room as he did the exam. I refused to leave until papa came in and ordered me to leave saying that Zeke wouldn't be comfortable if I saw his body right now so with a heavy sigh I left the room and Maria ran in with my siblings and she went into Zeke's room to see him. I looked at papa.

"It's ok for her to see him but I can't?" 

"Yes, he may identify as a male but he still has a female body son, he would be more comfortable with Maria than you until you accept him, for who he is. I'm sure once you do, he will be comfortable with it and will probably want to show you who he is." Papa said and he's right. I won't like it if it were me so I stayed in the hallway, close to his room. 

"What happened anyways?" Papa asked. 

"I'm not completely sure, I heard Christian messing with Zeke and Shacks took over and beat him. Picked him up and brought him here." 

"I saw it too. Zeke wasn't doing anything wrong, he was just standing there and Christian started on him. We went to help and that's when Shacks came over." Karin explained and papa sighed. 

"Ok, you kids go do your homework and after that, help with the younger ones with theirs please." Papa said and they walked back out. 

"And you, you need to talk to him as soon as you can. I don't care if you have to beg on your knees to get him to even want to talk to you, do it." 

"I swear I was going to talk to him but I chickened out, papa one look at him and my brain turned to mush." I signed and he laughed. 

"Nice, thanks for laughing at me papa." I huffed.

"Zander, I understand. I get that way to this day with your dads, it's not anything to be worried about, the words will come when the time is right, just ask him how he is, how his day is going, ask him to go to lunch off campus. Anything like that is a start son." 

"Ok, I promise I will and I know an O'Brian promise is like the Word around here."

"Exactly." 

That was two days ago, when Zeke woke up, he hung out with Aaron and he left before I could ask him anything so today I'm waiting for him after class before lunch when I see him walking out, using his walking stick today, he usually tries to navigate through the sea of students so I was happy and relieved he's using the tools to help him, for now. Whenever we mate, my mark should heal him and he will be able to see again.

"Hey Zander." He said softly, and I smiled. 

"Hey Zeke, I was wondering if you want to go have lunch with me, off campus?" I asked nervously and I saw his cheeks get red a little bit.

"Sure, I'd like that." He said and he reached out and grabbed my arm, moving his hand around my bicep and we started walking down the hall, my pack looking at us with smiles on their faces and my fan girls of sisters were grinning and jumping up and down, making me laugh. 

"What's so funny?" Zeke asked.

"My sister's are being silly. They and my brother's are happy we're together going to lunch." 

"Are you?" He asked and when we got to my truck, I stopped and turned to face him, wishing he could see me right now when I tell him this.

"Yes Zeke, I am. I apologize for how I acted when I found out about you and for ignoring you these past few weeks. It was a shock to learn about you being transgender when I have known you for years, I don't understand why you felt you couldn't tell me but that doesn't matter at the moment, what matters is I hurt you and you're my mate, hurting you is something I never should have done and I will do anything you want to make it up to you. I promise I'll try to be more understanding and I will learn all I can so I can help you and support you through this. It’s going to take some time for me to understand and accept our fated bond but please, don't think I'm rejecting you, I'm not. I just need some time." I said, being honest is the best policy and if I can't be honest with my mate, who can I be honest with? 

"I understand and I'm also at fault for not telling you sooner, I was just scared of what you would think because we used to be close and what you thought of me means the world to me so I put distance between us and didn't tell you. I understand you need time, I'm not going to push you into wanting to be with me, the bond will do that itself but I want you to want to be with me, all of me. I can’t help how I feel and I am going to have the surgeries I need when the time comes, I'd love for you to be by my side but if you can't, it'll hurt like hell but I will understand." 

"Let’s cross that bridge when we get there, for now let's go have lunch. Thank you also for understanding Zeke, and it's ok, I can understand not wanting to tell me because you were worried about what I would think, just know you can tell me anything, anytime and I will do the same with you." I said and opened the passenger door for him and helped him in, my hand accidentally touched his ass and I loved the feel of it in my hand. 

"Hey if you want to get fresh, at least take me on a date first." He giggled and I saw him blushing and I smiled. 

"What do you think I'm doing now?" I asked when I got into my truck. 

"No sir, this does not count. I'm talking about you asking me out, getting ready, getting picked up, taken out for an evening and when the night is over, brought back home, kissed goodnight and go from there." He said matter of factly and I chuckled. 

"You got it." I said and drove us to the diner that I now know used to be grandpas first mates. 

"Alright, we're here." I said and got out, walked around my truck and opened the door for Zeke. He looked really cute today, he has on a sweater that is yellow and black leggings showing off his sexy ass with black boots, making his legs look longer than they are. 

"I can feel you checking me out Zander." 

"I am, not gonna lie, you look hot." 

"I bet you look hot too, I wish I could see you for five minutes, I want to know what you look like so I can see you in my dreams." He said and I looked at my body and sighed. 

"Trust me, I'm way too tall and look way older, I don't like how I look." 

"Oh come on, you have body issues? You are part angel and are an Alpha, you have the perfect image of a man." 

"Zeke, you know how you feel about yourself? I may not feel exactly like you but yes, I have issues with myself. I know my parents couldn't control what I am when I was conceived but it still doesn't mean I like how I look. I may be 'hot and handsome' to everyone else but when I look at myself, I see a giant and an older man." I explained and he took my hand, by now we're sitting in a booth inside the diner.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I understand how it feels probably more than anyone else in your life." He said and traced my fingers softly, and smiled at me.

"Ok boys, what can I get you?" Papaw Craig asked and we gave our orders and talked for a while as we ate and I enjoyed myself and I hope Zeke did as well. When I do ask him out on our first date, I'll make sure it is special and that he has a good time.