Chapter Two

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Author's note: My computer wants to correct Seokjin's name to 'Sealskin'... just thought I'd share

 just thought I'd share

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Back to it... 

I paced right outside of the emergency doors, panic threatening to escape and make me crazy with each breath I took. Breathe out and the horror flowed, breathe in and I managed to stuff in back down. Two steps to the left and the tears threatened, three steps to the right and I wiped my mind clear.

My mother had gone into cardiac arrest following a round of treatment for drug addiction. They told me she took pills from the other patients and ingested them all at once. They pumped her stomach but had to rush her into surgery to fix internal bleeding caused by the medication eating through the lining of her stomach. Her heart stopped three times on the table. They said they were doing all that they could, they said that four hours ago when I first arrived, but they were still back there.

I looked desperately at my phone, the battery was nearly dead and I didn't have anything to charge it with. Angrily I hit call over my brother's name for the hundredth time. It rang five times and went to voicemail. I sighed furiously as I listened to his happy voice declare that I should leave a message if I dared. "Seokjin," I said, my voice breaking as the doors to the emergency room burst open at that moment. 

The doctor that emerged was covered in blood, the red contrasting with the blue of his surgical outfit as if it was sprayed like art across his torso and arms. The little blue cap covering his dark hair was untouched, but the mask now tucked neatly under his chin had smears across the fabric. 

His eyes found mine, solemn and sad. "Ms. Kim Yoojin?" I just nodded, too numb to speak. He indicated a set of chairs across the small, brightly lit hallway. "We did all that we could," He started, there was emotion in his voice but it also seemed repressed, like he couldn't afford to personally feel the loss of every patient. "Her body was too weak to recover. I'm sorry, Ms. Kim. Is there anyone you can call?" He asked, reaching over and kindly touching my arm.

"No," I whispered as I absently looked down at my dark phone, it must have died... I sniffled and leaned back against the wall behind the chairs. "No, I'm the only one she had."

"I see," He spoke with more sympathy in his voice. "You may take as long as you need, but there is paperwork that needs to be dealt with when you are ready."

I just nodded and he rose to his feet, giving me one last mournful look as he walked back into the emergency room and to his work. 

I felt frozen in a weird limbo of emotion. Part of my mind accepted and understood, or at least I thought I had, that this was a possibility when I first checked her into a hospital for drug overdose when I was just sixteen. I thought I was ready for this, prepared, but I only felt numb. The shock of the situation burned with unspent tears in the back of my eyes. I just brought her to this facility a few weeks ago, paying the outrageous sum based on her promise and theirs that this was the last time. I went days without eating, weeks without heat or water in my apartment to cover the cost of her care.

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