Girl Meets Evil

Chapter Twenty Two

The pressing dense feeling of darkness surrounded me, it felt like being submerged in a pit of tar as I struggled against the sticky hold. I pushed upward, desperately seeking air as my lungs burned and spots began to appear behind my closed eyes. Images that were too blurry and voices that sounded muffled pushed against the consciousness of my mind, trying to draw my attention away from the fact that I felt like I was dying. I fought through it, ignoring everything else but my desperate need to live.

Finally the feeling slunk away and I slowly blinked my eyes open, trying to find the sense in my mind that connected it to the rest of my body. At once I knew I was in Hoseok's room, the calming colors and smell made me feel like I was floating in a dream. A reality that was not my own. 

My mind was full of such violent images and feelings of fear and desperation that nothing in the quiet peace of the room felt real. I blinked a few more times, keeping my breath in as the first wave of emotion rose up to surround me. I needed to think, which was hard when I still felt so disconnected. 

I was able to convince my hand to move at last, rising to touch my cheek and I flinched momentarily when the tips of my fingers brushed across the scars of the claw marks on my skin. I barely remember that, I was screaming because they hurt Jimin and the hybrid, the cat ... I shook my head, a deep aching feeling started to throb through my brain, emanating from the base of my skill. Wincing slightly as it created a kaleidoscope like effect in my eyes, I gingerly searched the rest of my head for injuries. I had a sizable lump on the back of my head and the cuts on my cheek but otherwise I remained relatively unharmed. 

Just like the human said. 

I swallowed against the rising of bile in my throat, pushing those imagines away. I scooched to the edge of the bed, carefully pulling my legs over the side and letting my bare feet hit the cold floor. The apartment was quiet outside of the door, no sounds of riotous laughter while Jungkook mercilessly defeated them at a video game. Or gentle sounds of dishes while Hoseok either washed them or Jimin cooked. 

An image of the bright little fox lying on his side with blood leaking out of his mouth and nose flashed into my mind. I shook my head against it, pushing it away. I couldn't think about that, couldn't think about any of it.

I rose to my feet, an urge to use the bathroom my only motivation for even functioning like a semi-normal adult. I kept my brain functioning only enough to permit walking and using the toilet. I stripped the clothes from my body, ignoring the blood and sweat stains like a pro as I quickly stepped into the shower. I pushed the feeling of soreness away, the burning sensation in my throat as I refused to allow the pain and terror to surface. I just needed to get through this shower. Then I would...

I paused on the thought, feeling like I was teetering on the edge once more, but I no longer had something to fall back on. Instead of facing the abyss from one side or the other, I was stranded in the middle, walking a thin rope. I gripped the edge of the shower and waited, concentrating only on breathing in and out, pushing the thoughts and feelings away. 

The fact that getting through one thing only led to another, I wouldn't entertain that thought. I dried quickly and left the bathroom, seeking the store of clothes I kept in Hoseok's closet for the mornings I woke in his room. I grabbed and dressed in the first things I could find, my hands shaking as I pulled them on. I ignored the weak feeling and my apparent inability to do anything and stumbled back to the bed. 

I stood starring at it for a few minutes, hating that I needed to crawl back between the covers and surround myself in Hoseok's warmth and smell. Not because I didn't love him, because I did and I knew now that I would have loved him in any life, under any circumstances. I resented the urge because I would have to leave and soon, probably forever. I sniffled as I pushed more of the feelings away, shuffling over the blankets until I reached the pillows. I buried my face in one, my hands latching to the fabric like it was the only thing keeping me anchored and sane.