dare [h. renjun]

-chapter thirty six-

"because i like you."

-

"(y/n), wouldn't it be great if i could hold your hand like this forever?"

i froze in my position before drawing my eyes to him. he was still staring down on our intertwined hands while i couldn't move because of what he was doing.

i nervously chuckled before asking,"what kind of question is that?"

"a question that i've thought of once," he replied, causing me to remain silent. trailing my gaze down to our hands, i couldn't help, but to feel my heart beating out of its usual rhythm. his response made me stunned, and astonished me as i wasn't able to reply properly.

"yo, if you could just stop playing with real feelings," i jokingly said while letting out a laugh.

he then lifted his chin up to fix his eyes on mine before asking, "so you like me now?"
this instantly made me oppose immediately in a calm manner, forcing myself from being too obvious.

"no, i meant stop telling lies. things like those should be told when it's directly from the heart."

"it was from my heart," he muttered, slipping his hand away from mine. i didn't know, but i wanted him not to let go, so i grabbed his hand instantly without any thought. this caused him to pause, still staring down on my hand.

"ah— hahaha," i chuckled after realizing what i did as my cheeks started warming up. i was about to tug my hand from him, yet he abruptly held it tight for me not to let go.

"we've been in this ridiculous relationship for months now. don't you ever get tired of playing along with the dare?" i decided to question him. i still have it in mind that he's just playing along, and that i shouldn't get attached or carried away too easily.

"i did get tired of playing along quite some time ago," he answered straightforwardly without sugarcoating his words. "but these days, words just come out from my mouth naturally."

i looked down on the floor, bending my knees as i was already feeling the cold breeze going in through the windows surrounding us. there is something inside me, telling my inner self to doubt every word he says. as if my distrust of his words because of the dare still sprinkled it all with doubt.

i felt renjun shifting in his position to face me as he slipped his hand away from mine gently. "you're the one getting dared, but most of the time, i was the only one playing along," he flashed a childish grin before me.

i averted my gaze to him, a smile tugging the corners of my lips as i realized what he said was funny. "this was out of my comfort zone. i didn't like this," blatantly, i replied.

"so did i," he was blatant with his response too. after he had emitted those words, there was another moment of silence. it wasn't an awkward one, but just the type of silence caused by us running out of words.

"did you really dislike me?"

"did you hate me?" simultaneous with me, he asked too. laughter then escaped from our lips as we grinned with each other like idiots.

"i just thought you disliked me, and that pissed me off so much," i replied, suddenly recalling the times when he showed his not-so-pleasing impression towards me, and fleeting glimpses of those memories like quick lightning struck my mind.

"i did," he admitted without any hesitation. i looked at him in disappointment, yet sadness was overtaking it for some reason. "because you keep on ignoring me. i'm the only one that you don't talk to. i thought you hated me, and that started to annoy me."