after all this time?

she was in love with you

Camila's POV

We were laughing at something when Lauren spilled wine all over her clothes and a bit on the floor.

- Okay, I think you're too drunk - I said and put the last bottle away from her

- I'll be right back

She went to her bedroom to change and I stayed alone on the kitchen with Normani. Dinah and Ally were on the living room.

- You're lucky she forgave you - Mani said.

- Yes, I know

- I mean... after what happened when you left...

I got a little curious, what is she talking about?

- What happened? - I asked, drinking a cup of water to get alcohol out of my system.

- She didn't tell you? She almost got herself on depression

I felt my body getting cold immediately. Lauren never told me that.

- What?

- Yes, Camila. These two months after you left... I remember like it was yesterday. She cried all the time and had anxiety crisis, we could never leave her alone, not even for a minute. She wasn't sleeping well and so weren't we.

I can't understand... that's serious, why didn't she tell me? How did she get to this point?

- But... how? Why didn't you call me or something? If I knew...

Mani interrupted me.

- Oh my god, you really don't know. Camila, she was in love with you.

I felt groundless the moment these words came out of her mouth. She said like it was obvious but I never noticed that, what the fuck??? Lauren was in love with me when I left... oh my god oh my god... what if.... no, that has nothing to do with what we're having now. But what it if she's with me because she had this unsolved feeling years ago??? Am I feeding it??? Oh my God I don't even know how I feel about her and I'm probably waking up old expectations... shit shit shit

- Done

Lauren's voice got me out of my thoughts, she came back with her pajamas.

- Lo, I think I'm going, okay?

- What? No, you can sleep here, it's alright - she said

- No, I don't want to bother

I'm terrible at finding excuses.

- Camz you know you don't bother me - she was still very drunk.

- Lo, I just really think I should go, okay? So everybody can sleep comfortable, it's a tiny apartment.

- I'll see you again? - she asked the question she told me weeks ago not to ask while doing her sad face. Normani was watching everything silent

- Yeah, of course. You know you will.

- I'll take you - she said trying to pretend she was sober.

- No, I'll call an uber, it's alright

- I'm not drunk, Camz!

- I didn't said you are, Lo. But it's late and you're wearing pajamas. - I tried to change the subject - I'll text you when I get there, alright?

After convincing Lauren I said goodbye to the girls and went to the hotel, texting Lo like I told her I would. 

The truth is I came here because I don't know how to face Lauren now that Normani told me these things. I'm scared. How could I make her feel so bad?  And how can I keep going with this thing we're having now that I know she was in love with me once and I broke her heart?