after all this time?

good morning sleeping beauty

Lauren's POV

Camila and I were laying on her tiny bed, on the dark, talking about life.

- Do you think the girls will forgive me?

Her voice was very close.

- Well... I don't know, I feel like Dinah is okay with it, Ally is an interrogation and Normani... she's still really hurt. So I don't know. - I tried to be honest

- I had a chance to talk to Normani, it was at an award, I think... It was fast but she was nice to me. I thought she was okay

- Yeah, she's just... I don't know, it's more about me I think. She can't forget what happened and how I felt the night you left.

- What happened?

I shouldn't have mentioned that. I don't even remember all the details, it was a blurry night. Probably one of the shittiest nights of my life.

- Lauren? - she called me to make sure I was awake.

- It was really bad. You remember, we've had an amazing performance that week, it was so close to Christmas... We had some issues, of course, but at that point I thought we would wait to discuss them after the holidays. And I think that's why it was so painful when you left.

Bringing all these memories back was painful and all my body was responding to it getting warmer, I started breathing heavily.

- I don't remember a lot, actually. Just some flashes. I don't wanna talk about it, just know that I was feeling like shit, I got drunk and cried a lot. Girls were up all night with me. It was a tough night, that's all.

After a few seconds I felt her hand touching my face, her cold fingers making me breath heavily.

- I'm sorry I caused so much pain, Lauren. I promise I'll make it up to you. I will never forgive myself for losing the family we had.

She came closer and hugged me, placing her body against mine and her breath in my ear. I wrapped my arm around her waist and let myself rest there for a few minutes. I felt like crying but I held on, that's what I needed that night, her hug. I needed her to tell me everything was going be alright.

- Okay, sleep time - I said, trying to end that moment before things could get more awkward.

- Yes, you're right. It's really late

- Good night, Camz - I said turning to the other side.

- Good night, Lolo...

....

When I woke up the morning light was getting into the room through the window. I think it was 7 or 8 am because everything was really silent.

I looked to the side, Camila was still sleeping. Her mouth was a little open and she was breathing slowly, her hair was all messed up over the pillow and one of her legs was on me.

"Focus, Lauren" - I thought after watching her sleep for some minutes. I can't let that happen again. That I have a crush on Camila it's obvious, I always had, but I can't fall in love with her again. I need to understand she's dating someone, and she's happy, and she's probably straight and I can't go though all that shit again. I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm almost 30. Enough with the expectations.

- Good morning

While I was lost on my thoughts Camila woke up. She was trying hard to keep her eyes opened and that made me smile. Sometimes it really feels like time hasn't passed.

- Good morning, sleeping beauty

- What time is it?

- I don't know but it's early

- Can I get 5 more minutes?

I laughed at her question while she was trying not to close her eyes (and failing)

- Yes, sure.

She shifted her position, placing one of her arms over me in addition to the leg that was already there. I couldn't push her away so I just stayed there, watching her sleep.

...

- Yes, I promise I'll be back soon

I was saying goodbye to Sinu but she wanted me to stay for lunch, so I had to promise her I'll go back.

- Alright, then. See you soon.

She gave a hug and then Camila and I left the house, walking to the car.

- My mom loves you - she said

- Yeah, my mom loves you too. So we're even.

I rested my back on the car and Camila stayed in front of me.

- Camila I'll be leaving to LA next week.

She looked at me surprised, but said nothing so I kept going.

- So when are you going to see Shawn? Maybe we can go together.

- Yeah, about that... - she looked at the floor, the car, everything but me. - I actually broke up with Shawn.

Camila's POV

- What? Why?

Lauren was really surprised.

- I don't know, things were weird.

- Is it about the photos? - she seemed worried.

- No. I mean, not just that. Things weren't good for a while. He wanted a future I can't give him.

- Are you okay? - Lauren held my hand giving me a strange feeling.

- Yes, don't worry. Really. Anyways, why are you leaving so soon? - I tried to change the subject.

- Because my tickets are bought already. I came to spend only a month with my family

Ten days ago I wasn't even thinking about Lauren, and now it's weird to think that I'll be in Miami without her.

- Okay... I don't know what I'll do yet. I was living in Shawn's apartment in NY, which probably is not happening anymore... So I think I'm staying here for a while.

I put my hands on my pockets and looked at Lauren. She was staring me with these intense green eyes, making me feel naked. I can't describe how I feel when she looks at me this way.

- I wish I could stay... but I have a performance there on February 12 so I have to rehearse

- It's all right, Lauren. Don't worry.

Her phone rang and she picked it up, it was her mom. After a minute she turned it down and looked at me.

- I gotta go

- I know, it's okay. I'll see you again?

Everytime I see Lauren I have this need to ask her if she wants to see me again. I just have to be sure.

- Yeah, sure. You know you can call me or text me whenever you want, right?

- Yes, I do

- Come here

She gave me a tight hug and then entered her car, looking at me one last time.

- Bye, Camz

- Bye, Lolo. Text me when you get home

- Okay

She turned on the car and finally left, leaving me alone with my thoughts. That woman is making me crazy...