after all this time?

are we good?

Camila's POV

It didn't take long for Lauren to fall sleep, but I stayed up. It's probably because it's been a crazy month and I haven't been sleeping much.

I've been thinking a lot about me, my career, about Lauren, about our future... My therapist says I should live the moment, but sometimes I can't. I'm glad Lauren's happy, though. I could see it today, at her party, she was glowing...

Yeah, okay, I'm still thinking about Lucy and how she decided to show up at the worst time ever. I trust Lauren, that's not in discussion, this is all about my insecurities and about how perfect Lucy seems. She's pretty, she sings, she paints, she photographs, she models, she writes. She's everything. And she's Lauren's ex.

Lauren moved trying to find the perfect position and I waited. She's so beautiful... I can't believe she's 29, time flies.

I searched for a picture of Lauren on my phone, then opened it on Instagram. I let the words come to me like I do when I write songs, just let myself say whatever was on my mind.

When I first met you, we were both nervous about going up that stage and singing to all these people for the first time. After that day, I was lucky to be on the same stage with you a bunch of times, and I never stopped being amazed by the sound of your voice. The artist thing can be really scary and it's never easy, but you were there for me everytime I needed. I can't count how many nights I couldn't sleep and you let me stay on your bed, or how many times I was crying because I was too tired of everything and you stayed with me, holding my hand.
I wish I could explain how I keep falling in love with you again, and again, and again everyday. I wish I could explain how I feel when you look at me or when you hold my hand in public. I know I can be an idiot sometimes and I'm sorry. I just can't believe I'm writing this while you sleep by my side. I can't believe you're mine.
Happy birthday, my muse. I love you.
@laurenjauregui

...

I woke up feeling like I slept too much, and seeing the bed empty was a sign of that.

I looked up to my phone. It was 11am. I could hear the shower, so I got up feeling the cold floor on every step to the bathroom. Lauren looked surprised when she saw me.

- Hey, you up!

I got closer but didn't say anything, I'm still a little sleepy.

- Come here, love

I left my pajamas on the floor and walked in the shower, feeling Lauren's warm body on mine. The water was hot as fuck, like she loves (and I hate).