after all this time?

don't freak out

Lauren's POV

Camila and I arrived at my place ten minutes ago and since then there's this uncomfortable silence.

- Is everything okay? - I asked calmly.

It took her a few seconds to answer.

- Lauren... what happened eight years ago when I left the group?

That's not what I expected her to say.

- What do you mean?

- Normani told me a few things...

For a second I stopped breathing. How much of it did she tell Camila? Oh my god...

- I told you it was rough for me when you left

- Yeah, but she gave me some details. She said you almost got yourself on depression

I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Normani shouldn't have said anything, that's personal and I would tell Camila when I wanted to.

- Camz, it was eight years ago. It doesn't matter

- It does, Lauren, because I caused it. It was my fault. To only think that I made you feel that way... it makes me sick

All the memories from this terrible time were coming back, making me uncomfortable. I didn't know what to answer.

- She told me something else... were you in love with me?

WHAT OMFG WHAT THE HELL

That's basically what I could think after she said that. Why normaniiiiiii whyyyyyy????????

- Lauren?

Okay, I have to answer. What am I going to say???

- Yes...

I whispered it but she heard. Silence. We were just looking at each other trying to find the right words.

- Why didn't you tell me? Back then or now?

I took a deep breath and decided to be as honest as possible.

- I don't know Camila, things were complicated. I had this complex relationship with Lucy, you were falling for every pretty boy, we were too young, you wanted to leave the group... too much shit going on

- What about now? Don't you think that's an important information?

- Honestly, no I don't. What we're having now has nothing to do with the past.

Camila was walking in circles, her hands on her head.

- Are you sure, Lauren? How can you be so kind to me after I broke your heart? And this thing we're having, you sure this is not some repressed feelings?

She was freaking out a little bit, overreacting. I got up and stopped her, holding her face and looking at her in the eye.

- Camila, I was in love with you once, it's true. When I realized what I was feeling it was too late, so it's not your fault at all. I didn't tell you, that was a choice I made, and I'm glad I did because we both moved on, met other people, we are both happy with our careers...

She was paying attention to me in silence, breathing heavily. I kept going:

- What I'm trying to say is: I moved on. I'm telling you one thousand times, it was eight years ago. What I am feeling for you right now has nothing to do with that Camila you were back then, or with the Lauren I was. The person I am now is interested to the person you are now. That's it. I am getting to know you all over again, Camz, and you know everything has been natural. Don't freak out right now, please