Version [COMPLETED]

V26

"Hey, are you alright?" tanong ni Noah sa akin kaya naman tinungga ko ang alak na hawak n'ya at nagyayang umuwi.

May mali.

It's wrong to enter in a relationship when I have a lot of mess to fix.

Maling mali!

Hindi ako matatahimik kung may gulo pa akong dapat noon ko pa inayos.

Those things in my sleeves will just backfire to me and it's starting slow yet painfully.

"Drive me home, Noah."

Nagpaalam lang s'ya sa mga kaibigan n'ya at ako naman ay hindi nag-abala pang magpaalam sa mga kasamahan ko.

My realization ruined my night.

"May nangyari ba? You're making me worried," he asked as he starts the engine of his car and drive.

"I'm in a wrong track Noah," I said and heave out a sigh.

"What do you mean?" naguguluhan n'yang tanong sa akin.

"I need to fix things up fast," tanging sambit ko na nagpatahimik sa aming dalawa. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses akong bumuntong hininga dahil sa nasa isip ko.

"Don't tell me, you'll break him up?" aniya kapagkuwan. I looked away. My gaze went to the dark night outside.

I am determine to do that.

A break up after so many hours of relationship is more painful than break up after so many years of spending a year or many times together. Hindi mo man lang mararanasan ang malayang paghawak kamay in public places, dates and surprises because it needs to end soon.

That our love is not meant to last. I wasn't meant to last for him. And he wasn't enough to meant for me.

Maraming bagay ang hindi para sa akin dahil nagsimula ako sa mali. I live my whole life in a wrong track and full of vengeance. I wasn't choosing the hard way cuz despite of knowing my purpose and what is wrong and right, I still choose the easy one.

Madali lang naman maging mali at 'yun ang kayang-kaya kong gawin para parusahan ang sarili ko sa mga kataranraduhan ko noon. That all the wrong deeds I did before ruined a family and friendship. I broke their trust.

I was the reason why the love of their lives, passed away. Cuz I started building a wrong world for myself.

I was so selfish of building my own world. They weren't included that's why time is haunting me to pay the price.

The price of having a lonely and miserable life.

And love wasn't exception to that.

Because this love that I started recognizing and adoring...

is meant to die in my heart.

Tama lang ang gagawin ko. Kung magmamahal ako...

I want it to start in the right process and timing. I want a love that do not have a what if's and why's.

If Alder is meant for me... then a heartbreak is worth dealing for.

That this heartbreak will make it right.

I cleared my throat and gaze back in front. "That sucks but it should be,"

"Are you serious? You just get together many hours earlier and you're breaking up with him?" he exasperaterdly said.

"Noah, hindi madali sa akin ito. Kung ako lang ang tatanungin hindi ko kaya at hindi ko gagawin. I know my logic is so absurd pero may mga gulo ako na dapat kong ayusin and if we continue this, masasaktan lang kaming dalawa. It's better to get out in this relationship kasi 'pag nadamay s'ya... my heart can't take it."