Ephemeral (On Going)

Chapter 13 - Confused Molly

I woke up to the sound of my alarm. Shit! I only have thirty minutes to get ready! I jump out of the bed. I accidentally fell face down on the floor and had a massive lump on my forehead. Paano na 'ko mag sho-shoot nito?

I still believe in myself that I'll be able to nail this photoshoot with a huge lump on my forehead. I'm wearing a hat to hide the humongous lump on my forehead.

"Are you ready?" she asked. I nodded my head. She's weirded by the fact that I am still wearing my hat. She took it off and I groaned.

"A-are you okay?" she asked. I just nod.

"Do you think we'll be able to cover this?" I asked.

"We can try but honey, this needs photoshop," she replied examining my forehead.

Nakakahiya naman! Paano kung itigil nila 'yung shoot all because of this?

Oras na para sumalang ako. Kabado ako na baka may makapansin sa bukol ko kaya nakayuko akong naglakad.

Magpo-pose na sana 'ko nu'ng ipatigil ng director 'yung shoot.

"What's that on your head?" she asked. Nakakatakot 'yung tono niya. Para siyang stressed out at disappointed.

Embarassed, I replied, "I hit my head this morning."
She just stare at me for a couple of seconds before finally deciding.

"Okay. We'll continue with the shoot. Just make sure that you won't turn your head sideways or any other way to avoid showing that lump on your forehead."
Tumango nalang ako sa sinabi niya. Does this happen all the time? First time ko kasi mag model internationally and hindi ko alam kung ganito ba talaga ang ginagawa nila kapag may problema sa model.

After the shoot, I saw my phone light up from the makeup table. Binilisan ko ang lakad ko para makuha agad 'yun.

Isang unregistered number ang may message sa'kin.

Kumusta ka diyan? Sana okay ka lang. I know malaki ang atraso ko sa'yo. Please take care, babe. I love you so much.

-Kervin

I don't know what to do. I held my phone on my chest and start thinking about it. Bakit ako naaawa sa kanya? All he did was cheat on me. Ayoko na sa kanya. Ayoko nang maulit ang lahat ng ginawa niya.

Thinking that I'm doing the right thing, I send a message back.

Okay naman ako rito. Salamat sa concern.

Simpleng sagot ko. Hindi ko alam kung tama pa bang replyan ang isang ex na nanloko at nanakit sa'yo.

I called Missy's phone para tanungin ang opinyon niya.

"Ano na, sis? Tama bang nagreply ako?" nagmamadali kong tanong sa kanya.

"Ate, gets mo namang magkaiba tayo ng time zone 'di ba?" naiinis niyang sinagot sa'kin.

"Oo pero sorry kailangan ko talaga ng sagot, sis."

"Una, mali. Para namang sinasayang mo 'yung pagsabunot mo kay Winona at 'yung pagharang ko sa kamay niya nu'ng gagantihan ka niya," sagot niya. Narinig kong umayos siya ng upo sa kama niya bago magpatuloy.

"Niloko ka ni Kervin, ate. Ano ba naiisip mo? Nauntog ka ba?"

"Actually sis oo, nauntog ako. Laki ng bukol ko sa noo oh. Send ko sa'yo."

"Ate hindi ka makausap nang maayos. Matutulog na 'ko bahala ka na diyan."

At saka niya binaba. Nagbuntong hininga nalang ako at saka umupo sa makeup chair para magtanggal ng makeup.

Tinitigan ko ang message sa'kin ni Kervin. Tinitigan ko rin ang number niya at saka nagdesisyong...

'Wag siya iblock.

I took my bag and rode the service car. Hinatid na 'ko pabalik sa hotel. Since maaga-aga pa naman before lunch, nag scroll nalang muna ako sa social media.

"Thank you for tonight! xoxo" the caption wrote. I check whose story am I viewing. Isa sa mga kaibigan 'to ni Kervin na I didn't realize I am still following. He congratulated Winona on the story. It's a photo of Winona smiling candidly. She's holding a bouquet of flowers and what seems like a jewelry on the other hand.

Break na ba sila ni Kervin or sila pa? Why would Kervin message me kung sila pa 'di ba? Ano nanaman ba 'to?

Imbis na makapag pahinga ako, lalo pa akong nastress. Kumuha nalang ako ng face towel saka yelo at inilagay sa noo ko para naman kahit papano lumiit 'tong bukol ko at lumamig ang mainit kong ulo.

Tiningnan ko uli 'yung mga picture namin ni Kervin. Ang dami pala talaga naming memories.

Nakita ko uli 'yung picture namin nu'ng birthday ng kapatid niya. Kasama ko siya sa tabi ng pool kung saan kami nag-usap tungkol sa plano niya. I hoped na mapag-usapan namin ang future namin nu'ng gabing 'yon but it never happened.

Nakita ko rin 'yung photo namin together sa isang music festival. Nakaakbay siya sakin at ang laki ng ngiti niya.

Kervin has always been my first love. Dapat kinakalimutan ko na siya ngayon pero hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ko magawa. It's weird to say but I'll always be here for him if he needs me.

"Ate, have you seen Winona's post?" Missy asked.

"Grabe wala man lang 'Hello, Ate! Kumusta ka diyan?' ?" sagot ko sa kanya.

"Alam mo ate, wala akong time. Just answer."

"Nakakahiya naman sa career mo ha?"

"Ate, just answer!" she almost yelled.

"Yes, I did! Ano ba paki natin?" sagot ko sa kanya.

"Ate, you literally just asked me if you're still going to reply to Kervin. This is the answer! Do not reply ever again!" pagdidiin niya.

"Ba't ba galit na galit ka?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Ba't ba hindi ka galit?" tanong niya rin. Natahimik kami sandali. Bakit nga ba hindi ako galit?

"Alam mo nu'ng seventeen ako hindi ako ganyan ka OA," I changed the topic.

"Ate, magkaiba tayo ng panahon. What do you expect?"

"Oo na. Bye na baka mabato ko pa laptop ko," I replied. We rolled our eyes at the same time and she dropped the call.

To be honest, I don't know what to do with Kervin. Sometimes he makes me believe his lies pa rin. It's annoying how easy it is for him to do whatever he wants. I want to forget him already.