Ephemeral (On Going)

Chapter 15 - Terrible Workmate

"Ma, Pa I'm not going to the workshop anymore," nakayuko kong sinabi sa videocall.

"Ha? Bakit naman anak?" malungkot na tinanong ni mama.

"Kasi po hindi ko na raw kailangan! They hired me to be a regular model na. Hindi nalang ako isang buwan dito. At as always, wala na 'kong iisipin sa papeles!" excited kong sinabi. Masaya kong pinanood ang pagbago ng mood ng parents ko.

"We're so proud of you!" sabay nilang sinabi. Nagkwento pa ako tungkol sa kalagayan ko sa New York.

"Pero anak okay ka lang ba diyan? Hindi ka ba naho-homesick?"

"Okay lang po ako. Hindi ko po alam kung nakwento ko na pero malaking tulong po na nakakasama ko si Reagan dito."

"That's good."

"Ano po pala plano sa debut ni Missy? Malapit na 'yun ah."

"Nasa isa o dalawang taon pa naman anak. Pero ito, naghahanap si Missy ng private resort. Mas gusto niya raw 'yung gano'n kesa sa typical venues," sagot sa'kin ni Mama habang binubuksan 'yung clearbook niya na parang may hinahanap.

"May naisip na ba siyang theme?" tanong ko.

"Ito anak. Mga printed pictures na gusto niyang kalabasan ng debut niya." Isa-isang pinakita sa'kin 'yung mga picture ng gown, venue, cake, etc. na pangarap ni Missy sa debut niya.

"That looks fun. Pag-iipunan ko na po 'yan. 'Wag na kayo mag-alala. I want to spend my money sa party na 'yan para naman mas mahalin niya 'ko," natatawa kong sinagot.

Pinagplanuhan pa namin ang debut ni Missy. Bawat detalye eh nakalagay na sa clearbook ni Mama para madali nalang gawin. At that same point we reserved catering services already para wala nang poproblemahin.

"Kailan ba ang uwi mo, anak?" tanong ni Mama.

"Tatapusin ko lang ang isang taon bago po ako umuwi. Iipon muna para wala na kayong gagastusin."

"Don't worry about us financially, 'nak. Your mom and I can survive on our own. Save your money for your future nalang," sagot ni Papa sa'kin nang marinig niya ang sinabi ko.

"Pa, okay lang talaga. Gusto ko naman eh. Saka malaki ang sweldo ko. Duh, isa nang ganap na model ang anak mo." Nagtawanan kami. Mga moment na ganito ang namimiss ko. I used to be with them all the time and we would laugh because of the weirdest reasons at random times. Pero ngayon I'm so far from them that I don't get to experience that anymore. Pero ayos lang.

Lalaban para sa pangarap!

I have a shoot today for a famous drink. This one is new because it's a commercial shoot.

I arrived at the set with my body shaking. I was so nervous for this particular shoot because I have no idea if I'm a good actor. I have lines to memorize and some emotions to do.

"3,2,1 Action!" I heard the director say. I took a deep breath before looking straight at the camera and say my lines.

It took us a couple of takes before finally achieving our desired outcome. Hindi naman ako problema ng shoot. It was more on my co-actor kaya medyo proud na rin akong nagagawa ko nang maayos ang trabaho ko.

"Do you have any plans for acting?" the director asked after we took the final take.

"No, not really. I'm more into print ads and stuff like that. This actually is pretty fun but it's not my forte," I answered. The director paused for a couple of seconds before replying, "But maybe someday you can work for me again." I just smiled at him and nodded. He grabbed my hand that reminded me of how my former professor assaulted me.

Unti-unting bumabalik 'yung mga nangyari sa'kin nu'ng bata ako. Lahat ng trauma ko nagbabalik.

"Or maybe more than this," he whispered. At as always, hindi nanaman ako makagalaw. Hindi ako makapalag hanggang sa umabot na ang kamay niya sa lower back ko. Wala akong ibang kasama rito kung hindi ang manager at makeup artist ko lang. Nandu'n sila sa free food na inihanda ng client namin for today's shoot.

The director and I are standing behind the huge tent that was set up for the actors and the crew. Lahat sila busy na kumakain at heto kami nasa likod.

I went here kasi naisipan kong picturan 'yung sunset. Open area kasi 'yung location kaya kitang kita 'yung paglubog ng araw. Du'n na dumating 'yung director.

"Molly, aren't you hungry?" my makeup artist asked. Mabuti nalang at dumating siya kung hindi baka mas malala pa 'yung sinapit ko. 'Yung direktor eh malapit na 'kong halikan nang dumating 'yung makeup artist.

I quickly went inside the tent and sat at one corner. The makeup artist approached me looking concerned. "Are you okay?"

Pinag-isipan ko kung sasabihin ko ba o hindi. I want to be braver than my past self kaya I decided na sabihin nalang.

"The director was about to kiss me and I couldn't move. Remember that time when I told you about how my professor assaulted me? I felt that way again and I feel helpless."

Niyakap ako ng makeup artist. I'm trying so hard to not cry para walang makahalata. Ang sabi niya, 'wag daw kaming papahalatang nagkwento ako tungkol sa nangyari dahil baka may gawing masama 'yung director. We waved goodbye as soon as we could. Nagtataka 'yung manager ko sa nangyari kaya nagdesisyon kaming sabihin sa kanya.

"That jerk! I swear Molly, you won't have to work with him anymore. I'll pay much more attention to you  so that I can make sure that you're safe."

"Thank you." I wept.

Umuwi agad ako dahil cinancel muna ng manager ko ang shoots today. Mas importante raw na safe ang pakiramdam ko kesa sa trabaho. I'm lucky to have her with me because to be honest, I don't know what could've happened if she wasn't there.

I turned off all my gadgets and made myself distant from everybody. I'm back to being the weak version of me. It sucks that everything comes back just because of one unfortunate situation. All my hardwork para malagpasan 'yung pinagdaanan ko dati eh nawala.