Ephemeral (On Going)

Chapter 3 - Red Flag

I started my day with an intense workout.  The screening will start at two o'clock mamayang hapon.

I tried to eat as little amount of food as possible. More on fruits pa kaya gutom na gutom na ako. Maya-maya pa, tumawag na ang manager ko. Pinapupunta na ako sa office niya nang mas maaga kesa sa napag-usapan namin.

"Molly, be here at 10 AM. Get ready na and make sure na handang handa ka na. I'll see you," sabi niya. Kinabahan ako lalo kasi hindi ito ang plano.

"Eh 'di ba mamayang hapon pa schedule ko? Ano'ng nangyari?" tanong ko. 'Yung pawis ko sa pag wo-workout eh mas lalong nadagdagan.

"May emergency schedule daw sila para sa time na 'yun. 'Di bale, alam kong kaya mo 'yan."

I sighed. Kailangan kong ihanda ang sarili ko in an hour. Balak ko pa namang mag pamper muna bago umalis.

I was just wearing a plain white shirt paired with leggings and a pair of rubber shoes. The key is to wear simple clothes para madaling magpalit mamaya. I arrived with my suitcase. I brought as many clothes as I could kasi raw titingnan nila paano kami magstyle sa sarili namin. ASNTM ba 'to? Usually clothes are provided by them pero iba yata 'to ah.

"Molly, it's your turn." My heart pounded. Nag-echo 'yung boses nu'ng nagsabi sa'kin nu'n. Ito na, it's my time to shine.

"Try to put your hand under your chin," the photographer said. Usually my body works with me during shoots. Pero hindi ko alam bakit hirap na hirap akong mag pose ngayon. Baka ito maging cause ng failure, hindi ako papayag! I took a deep breath and gently placed my hand under my chin like how the photographer instructed.

"Lovely!" It took us a couple of hours. I was starting to get tired pero pinipilit kong mag mukhang energetic para hindi sila ma-off.

"It's a wrap!" they all said. Everyone clapped and started fixing everything. I sighed and sat on the makeup chair.

"That was impressive," my manager said. I gave him a smile. "It's exhausting. I don't know kung maganda kinalabasan. My body wasn't working with me."

I took off my makeup saka dumeretso palabas ng building. Magkikita raw kami ni Kervin. Ang sabi niya susunduin niya ako kaya nag-antay muna ako sa lobby.

"Hi babe," sabi niya pag-sakay ko sa sasakyan niya.

"What took you so long?" I asked.

"May dinaanan lang. Anyway, sa condo tayo?"

"Babe, alam mo namang ayaw ko pa," I replied. He rolled his eyes. Gustuhin ko man, hindi ko rin magawa kasi I have my goals. Gusto ko ako unang makakaramdam ng urge to do it. With Kervin, it's been two years pero hindi ko pa rin nararamdaman 'yung feeling na 'yun.

We drove our way to his parents' house. Du'n nalang kami nag-stay at kumain ng dinner.

"Hi, ate!" his little sister greeted. Sofia is only five years old. Malaki agwat nila ni Kervin kaya nu'ng naging kami, parang anak na namin siya.

"Ate gumawa kami ni mommy ng cake!" she said excitedly.

"Talaga? Patingin naman si ate," sagot ko.

Sofia grabbed my hand and led me to the kitchen island. She looked so happy and proud.

"Do you like it ate?" she asked.

"Yes, I do. I'll take a picture of it ha," I answered.

We sat on the sofa altogether. His parents are just watching a movie and nakinood nalang din kami. Kervin and I aren't talking to each other. Hindi namin feel. Isa pa, he seems annoyed. Ano ba nagawa ko? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong?

Ilang oras pa, nagpaalam na akong umuwi kasi late na at pagod ako from the shoot.

"Tita, tito uuwi na po ako. Pasensya na po sa abala," pagpapaalam ko.

"Ate, comeback ha," Sofia said and hugged me tightly. Kervin's parents just nodded. Sumakay na 'ko sa sasakyan ni Kervin at saka kami dumeretso sa bahay. Wala kaming kibuan sa sasakyan. Tahimik lang siyang nag-dadrive at tahimik lang din akong nakatingin sa daan hanggang sa makarating na kami sa bahay.

"Thanks for today," I said. I moved closer to kiss him pero umiwas siya.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. He just looked me in the eye and unlocked the door.

"Sige na magpahinga ka na. I'll talk to you again tomorrow," sabi niya lang.

"Okay. I love you," I said pero hindi siya umimik. Bumaba nalang ako at pumasok sa gate namin. Tiningnan ko nalang siya habang paalis.

Pumasok ako sa bahay nang pagod at malungkot. What is wrong with Kervin? We've been dating for two years at ngayon lang siya naging ganito. Halos isang linggo na siyang walang pake sa'kin. Tapos he met new friends pa and ever since para na siyang laging iritable.

"How was the shoot?" my mom asked. She took my luggage and helped me bring it to my room.

"Okay lang ma. Nakakapagod," sagot ko. I went straight to my room, ran a nice warm bath, and relaxed on my bed.

I opened my Instagram app again just to check photos and even some inspos. Unang bumungad sa'kin 'yung candid shot ko sa Italy. Reagan posted it with the caption 'Bella Ragazza'.

I sent him a DM.

Nakakahiya naman 'yung post! Anyway, thank you. I'll wait for more ;)

Reagan didn't reply. Siguro he doesn't check his DMs sa account na 'yun. It's like his portfolio lang naman kasi and not his personal account

As I was scrolling, nakita ko 'yung post ng kaibigan ni Kervin sa isang bar. The guy in the background looked like my boyfriend. That's when I decided to create a dummy account to investigate. I followed as many mutuals as possible. When I got the decent amount of followers, I started following Kervin's friends na.

There are photos na may kaakbay silang babae. Sino 'yun? I don't remember Kervin talking about this whole bar thing. They looked happy and it crashed my heart. It's been months since I last saw that genuine smile. Mukhang hindi na masaya si Kervin sa'kin.

Mukhang familiar 'yung babae pero parang hindi rin. Parang nakita ko na siya somewhere but it's not clear when or where. Whoever this is, sana hindi ito 'yung iniisip ko. Sana wala lang 'to.

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