Ephemeral (On Going)

Chapter 38 - Letting Go

Molly's POV*

I had a long day of shoot today. It was tiring yet fulfilling because it has been so long since I last did a shoot.

Reagan told me that he's busy today. He has been working a lot at home since he has been away from Italy for months now. It's a good thing that he owns the company. He can go wherever he wants and still work for it.

I sent Reagan a message to inform him that I won't be home as soon as he expects me to.

"I'm going to have lunch today sa resto near the studio, love. I'll see you later."

"Okay, love. Ingat ka."

To be honest, hindi ko pa rin naaalis sa isip ko 'yung sakit na naranasan ko sa last relationship ko. It was difficult. It truly is difficult to forgive and forget when you are cheated on.

Alam kong mahihirapan ako pero sinubukan ko pa rin. Binisita ko lahat ng lugar na napuntahan namin ng ex boyfriend ko. I guess it's about time to let go.

I have a piece of paper and a pen in my bag. I thought of writing all my goodbye messages on it and spread it all over the places that I once went to when I was dating my ex. I might also burn each piece at each place as a sign of letting everything go.

First place, sa park. This is where my sister and I planned to catch my boyfriend cheating. I was so nervous at that time. I didn't want to see the love of my life with someone else pero ayun ang nangyari. Okay na rin siguro. At least I found Reagan.

"Thankful forof my sister for helping me get out of our toxic relationship. Good bye" the little note said. I ripped the corner of the paper where I wrote the note and lit it on fire. I watched it burn on the pavement and finally felt relieved.

From the restaurants to the outsides of the gym, mall, and other establishments. I took some time to think kung pupunta ba ako ng Tagaytay to also visit the motel and all the places where everything happened.

Habang naka stop ang car sa kalsada, I called Reagan to tell him na gabi pa ako makakauwi. I just need to go to some places to check different items that I want to buy.

"Gusto mo ba sumunod ako sa'yo ngayon? Mag-isa ka lang, love. Delikado 'yang ginagawa mo," he said.

"Okay lang, love. I can manage. Nasa labas na rin naman na ako so I thought of checking everything na para hindi na ako lalabas sa mga susunod na araw. Don't worry, I got this."

"Okay, love. Ingat ka, ha? If you need me tawag ka lang agad so I can go wherever you are. I love you," he said with the sweetest voice.

"Okay, mahal. I love you too."

The road made me feel worse than what I felt sa mga previous destination ko. The road where I was crying so hard. I was anxious, hurt, and stressed at that time. I kind of feel the same thing right now. Every tree, every establishment ay naaalala ko ang lahat.

I decided na mag drive thru muna to buy some food. I pulled up where I'm supposed to say all my orders. I kind of bought a lot since I wanted to feel the comfort that these foods give me.

Nu'ng magbabayad na ako, nagulat ako to see my ex's new girl. She's a crew where I ordered all these food. Sa kanya rin ako magbabayad so I decided to show no emotions at all.

"Ma'am, one thousand five hundr—" hindi niya natuloy ang sasabihin niya dahil nagulat siyang makita ako.

"I'm sorry magkano po?" I asked. I tried to act as cool as I could.

"One thousand five hundred p-po," sagot niya. I could see na nahihirapan siyang mag function at that point.

"Okay," sabi ko sabay kuha ng pera sa wallet ko. I tried to calm down and show her that I don't recognize her nor do I know her.

Nanginginig niyang inabot 'yung sukli ko at resibo. "N-next window p-po ma'am," she said.

I drove to the next window to wait for my order. I heaved a huge sigh to show that I am not affected. That I was there as a customer.

"Here po, ma'am. Thank you for ordering po!" Sabi nu'ng isang crew as she handed all the food that I ordered. I drove away and continued driving. I don't want to waste time.

Nadaanan ko na 'yung restaurant na pinagkainan namin ng family ko nu'ng nalaman nilang nag cheat sa'kin 'yung ex ko. The memories are kind of hunting me. This is my way to bravely face it and show myself that I am able to let things go. I know that I am able to go through everything.

I parked my car in front of the hotel where my ex, his friends, and his new girlfriend went to. The stress, the pain, the anxiety that they all gave me was just too much. I can feel a tear slowly falling down my cheek. This is the last time that I'll ever tear up for what happened. I am happy now and I am glad to have Reagan by my side.

I gave you everything that I could
I even made my heart as hard as wood
Just so I can make sure that no one would be interested in me so nothing would ruin your mood
You promised me the world,
Had my mind swirled
From all the promises you made
No one knew that your promises would be sharp as blade

I took the lighter in my bag. I lit it on fire and slowly let go of it as the fire ran out. The ashes flew away like how I wanted all the memories to go. Finally I am free. Finally I will be happy with Reagan and spend the rest of my life with him. He deserved the world and I will never ever trade it for anyone else.