Karina POV
"I trusted you with him!" Shawn stood up off the bed "you said there was nothing going on" he put his hands on his head "how could I be so stupid" he said to himself
"I'm sorry shawn. I'm just being honest with you"
"Honest, are you seirous right now" Shawn screamed at me
"Hey guys what's going on" cameron peeked his head in the room
"Cameron! This is your fault" Shawn said walking and pinning cam up against the wall
"Shawn stop" I say running over to them before shawn does more
As taylor and nash come running in the room
"Hey hey hey get off him shawn" taylor said pulling shawn away from cam as Matt stood Inbetween them.
"whats going on here" matt says looking at the two boys
im in tears i cant hold them back, im a horrible person.
"lets have your best friend tell us" shawn says in a hurtful tone
i choke back the tears " me and cameron kissed"
"karina..." matt says disapointed
"im sorry" i say cry breaking out into.tears and running out to my car
i drive to my spot. i get out of the car and walk to my favorite part where you can see the light up city.
i start to cry again. i say this too much but what have i done, i need to think of my options and what i want. i put my hand in my pocket fishing around for a blade i had hidden in my moms car for these kind of nights because before me and shawn these situations happend offen.
"i deserve this" i say to myself and slice my left arm vertical and the blood just flows out
i just sit there on the rock looking out at the city, my last sight will be cameron?
_____
i wake up to an unfamiliar surrounding, she awake someone says. i look up to see my mom cam,shawn and maddie
i look at my wrist to find at least 13 stiches up my arm.
i start to cry
"no no no" i say aloud
shawn and cam come rushing to my side while maddie fetches me water and my mom gets the doctor
"why am i in the hospital, i should be dead" i cry as cameron takes my hand.
"no baby you shouldnt be dead we all need you here" shawn says
"you dont need me it would all be better if i was gone, no more drama" i announce
cameron budds in "karina remeber when you were sadthat one night after nicole told you that you couldnt go to her bowling party cause viloet would be there"
"yeah" i respond
"dude dont remind her of that!" shawn says angrly
"im not finished, you got all dresseds up and wouldnt leave, and then we drove around town and rounded up our group and went bowling" cam said with a smile
"oh yeah and half of nicoles party ended up hanging out with my party cause Viloet was too bossy" i sniffle a litttle as i laugh
"it all works out evenually, i learned to never give up and niether should you" cam poeticly speaks
the doctor enters the room "hi karina how are you doing?"
"better" i respond smiling at cam
"well your good to go home, you can take the week off from school if you would like, ill give your mother some medication for you that will make you sleepy, but thats good." he said and left us in the hospital room
maddie came running up to me and hugs me.
"i thuoght i lost you, i cant lose my bestfriend" she says, i hear her sniffles
my mom comes abck in from talking to the doctor "ok honey lets get you home"
___
when we arrived home i went upstairs to my room and got cozy under my sheets, my mom walks in my room.
"hi sweetie" she says sitting down onmy bed with me
"hi mom" i mumble
she starts to tear up
" this is all my fault, io promised myself i would never let this happend again, why did i send you over there i saw the hurt state you were in"
"no mom it wasnt, im just a screwed up teen, this has nothing to do with you"
"if i was there for you more, yeah know made an effort as a parent you wouldnt have ended up like this"
"dont blame this on you, i did for awhile but it got me nowhere everything that happends happens beacuse of me, my decisions, all of it, i let them get to me, i9 swear to oyu from this moment on i will never cut again, im better than thier hurtful words" i say holding her hands looking at her like she was acually my mother
she embraces me in a hug
"i love you" she whispers in my ear
"love you to mom"
"everyone wants to come over and see you" she says to me
"wait everyone knows!?"
"no i mean like maddie called zacl, jenna,a nd marina then shawn and cam called the boys"
" oh well i will text evryone when to come over" i look at the clock "its 10am ill tell them around 12"
she closes the door and i grabxt phone and text shawn to come over. within seconds he texts that he is on his way"
after about 10 minutes of waiting shawn is at the door walking uo the srairs to my room
'knock'knock'
"come in" i squek
"hey" shawn says akwardly walking over to the bed
"hi" i say back
its silent for a moment until shawn speaks "im so sorry, i never wanted this karina"
" i know i just thought this would solve all our problems, me just gone but i see now that i need to improve myself and be honest with everyone and myself" i comfired
"if you say that it ment nothing with cameron, i will forgive you and we can move on with our lives, i love you"
"shawn i love you too" i pause "but i still love cam"
sorry for the short chapter, but hey i updated early! suprise, Happy New Years Eve guys. have an awesome start of the new year. my resalution is to update more offten or maybe do double updates sometimes =) hope y'all got a kiss for midnight. lol
Nikki xxx
YOU ARE READING
Drowning In Fear // Shawn Mendes
Fanfiction"What just happend" I said to him with bodies still intertwined "Fate" he said as he pulled his face back to mine so we could kiss again. _______________________ I'm Karina, I'm 16 years of age and a junior at my local high school. I don't have a...
