A Kiss and I will Surrender || A Frerard Fanfic

Chapter 32

TheBert: I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I know im not a great person im sorry. I can just leave for you i don't care about myself at all anymore. I just know I fuck Up everything good in my life and I'm sorry I ruined yours. I know I can't fix anything because when I try to fix things I just fuck them up more. Agin I'm sorry for ruining your life.

Gerard stared at his phone in disbelief, his eyes wide and his heartbeat increasing. It had been roughly ten hours since Bert had sent him that text and Gerard just couldn't believe it. The last thing he had said to Bert, was that they couldn't talk during his break and that he wanted to focus on getting mentally healthier. And this is what Bert texted him? Something that would make him feel worse and trigger him into running back to him?

Gerard put his phone down on Franks nightstand and looked at the sleeping boy next to him, watching how his chest moved slowly to the rhythm of his breathing. The older gently placed a hand on his arm, shaking him carefully and getting closer to him.

"Frank?", he whispered, shaking him a little stronger after he recieved no reaction. Frank started to stir slightly, his face twitching before he opened his eyes slowly. "Frank", Gerard repeated, his voice sounding sort of desperate and anxious, which seemed to awaken the younger a lot faster.

"What? Gee?", he groaned, quickly rubbing his eyes and looking at him.

"I just looked at my phone for the time and stuff and thought I could text Bert to tell him that I want to talk with him and he send me this weird message", Gerard explained and grabbed his phone again, unlocking it and opening the app again. He held his phone out for Frank, who took it from him and squinted at the screen, reading the message slowly.

"Wow... Imagine if you were really mentally unstable now and your boyfriend sends you such a text", Frank mumbled, shaking his head disapprovingly and giving the phone back to Gerard. "Are you okay?", he asked and leaned a little closer.

"Actually, yeah", Gerard confessed. "I just don't know if he would really do such a thing", he mumbled, shifting closer to Frank and cuddling into his chest.

"Whenever he has threatened you", the younger started carefully, his voice soft and not above a whisper, "with like, hurting himself... Has he ever done it? Or showed you prove that he has? I mean, he talks about it a lot and he sounds like a guy who would shove it right in your face as soon as you make a small mistake or caused something bad". Frank wrapped his arm around him and Gerard gently placed his hand flat against his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat underneath his palm.

"He never has", Gerard admitted, staring at Franks chest in thought. He was wearing just a plain black shirt, but it really complimented his shoulders and chest, making him look more muscular than normal. "He said it a lot but now that I think about it, he never acted out on them. The only one he hurt was me", Gerard whispered, leaning his forehead against Franks shoulder and burying his face in his neck.

"I think he is lying again. He only says that so you come crawling back to him. He wants to hear that someone is sorry for him", Frank said and gently started to play with Gerards hair.

"He wants someone to pity him. Someone who takes care of him and tells him how everything he does is okay, even though it isn't", Gerard nodded, his eyes scanning Franks neck and stopping at a small freckle he had below his ear.

"You're right", Frank said, leaning his head back to give Gerard more space. "Do you think his friends know about that?".

"No", Gerard shook his head. "Quinn might, but honestly, they are all the same. Whenever I saw them, they were drinking booze and taking drugs. Mostly drinking though. Jeph did coke once, but I walked out before he could even open that bag", he breathed out, watching goosebumps appear on Franks skin as he breathed against it.