What we once were

Chapter 20: Kicked out, part 3

"Goodbye Sam's... Have a nice life" she says over her shoulder before running away, shattering my heart to approximately a million pieces.

My throat was too dry to answer her, I wanted to call after her, tell her to come back, tell her that I didn't mean any of that, tell her everything that's been going on with me, tell her that I was forced to say it all.

Tell her how much she means to me, and how much I'll miss her.

But she already left, just like anybody else I ever cared about.

No, I scold myself, this is not her fault. I told her to go, I told her to leave. I can't blame her for this, this is on me.

I felt a tear sliding on my cheek and I stayed frozen in place, waiting for her to return, to hug me and tell me she knew it wasn't me talking, to say that she'll always be here for me, that she understands what I'm going through. But she never did any of that. She's gone and I'm all alone.

I turned around with a heavy heart and a heavy feeling of emptyness spreading in my chest. I enter my house brushing past my father who was standing near the entrance, it was obvious he was listening to the entire exchange between Korra and I.

"This is for the best Asami," he said with a soft tone, trying to comfort me.

I stop and turn around "The best for who?" I ask bitterly, feeling the anger and hatred bubbling inside my chest "certainly not What's best for me."

He sighs "This girl was nothing but trouble, she could only cause you harm. You needed to let her go so that you could move on with your life–"

"–What life?"  I cut him off with a shaky voice "This life? Right here? With you? Where I can't do anything without your surveillance? Where you make me turn away everyone I care about? Where you force me to be something I'm not?" I grit my teeth, water dripping out of my eyes "Fuck this life, and fuck you for making me do what I just did, she will never forgive me for this, and I can't even blame her."

"You need to understand that I'm only helping you," He said while clenching his jaw in anger "you'll thank me making you cut ties with her later on in life Asami."

"No," I emphasize and step into his space with a murderous glare "I will never thank you for making me go through this hell, I will never be grateful for your supposed 'help' that does nothing but make me miserable, I will never appreciate your attempts at fixing me. But you know what I am thankful for? I'm thankful for leaving this shit hole tomorrow and going to Ba Sing Se, because I can't wait to be as far away as I possibly can from you!" I shout in his face, venom leaking out of my words.

"Go. To. Your. Room." He said slowly, his voice shaking with rage "Fix your makeup, because you look like shit, and pack your stuff, so that when tomorrow comes, you can get the fuck out of my house." He spits out.

"With pleasure!" I answer loudy and go up the stairs, slamming my door shut when I enter my room and sit on the bed, sobbing into my hands.

I can't believe this is over... I'll never see her crooked smile again, never hear her stupid laugh again, never feel her warm body pressed against me...

I guess some friendships are not meant to work out, not because the two don't care about one another, just because of bad timing.

This had to be it, right? Because I care about her dearly, and even if not in the same way as I do, she cares about me too.