Seven

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Once dinner is over, we all help clear things away. Martin is washing things up while I dry them and put them away. Jonny walks in holding a plate and a bowl of ketchup. "What shall we do with this?" He asks
"Oh just put it back in the bottle," Martin instructs.

I don't think that's the most hygienic thing to do and thankfully Jonny agrees.
"What? No just throw it away,"
As Martin and Jonny fight over the bowl of ketchup, I finish drying a plate before turning to take another. Until something hits me in the side of the chest. I wince in pain and realise because they were fighting Jonny had managed to elbow me in the ribs.

"Ow," I cry out to them, even if it doesn't hurt that much.
"Oh my god, Rayne I am so sorry, Dad look what you did!" Jonny apologises

" I wasn't the one who hit the girl," Martin then snatches the bowl from Jonny and begins spooning the ketchup into his mouth.

Jonny sighs, "Come on Rayne,"

"But I haven't finished-" He takes my hand and pulls me out of the kitchen.
"Are you sure you're alright and again I'm sorry for elbowing you,"

"It's okay, I promise, it doesn't even hurt." I wasn't lying but i decided not to tell him that it will probably leave a massive bruise considering I bruise really easily.

We join Adam and Jackie in the living room. As we do, Jonny quickly lets go of my hand. He then sits on top of Adam laughing as the other boy is forced to move.
"Stop it you two," Jackie says, not even looking up from the newspaper she's reading.

"Here," Adam moves to the other side of the sofa allowing me to sit in between the boys.
"Thanks,"

Adam and Jonny then proceed to have a burping contest, which causes Jackie to scold them,
"Just bloody stop it!" she yells at them.

"Weak," I tell the boys,
"Like you could do better," Adam challenges. And I am about to prove him wrong but I can feel Jackie staring at the three of us and I know that she seriously wants to yell at me.
"Maybe another time," I tell him.

Adam stands up and glances around the room. "Mum, how come you've got more pictures of Pissface then me?"

As Adam continues to look around the room, I notice Jonny picks up a phone, Jackies phone.

"Your face annoys me." Jackie answers bluntly. I have a feeling she's still annoyed.

"Right, no really?"

"Really," she stares at him, looking deadly serious. Suddenly Adams phone beeps. I glance over at Jonny who is hiding the phone beside him. Adam looks at Jackie, back at his phone and then over to Jonny, who holds up his mums phone.

Martin then enters the room, demanding that Adam comes with him.
"What do you want?" He questions

"Just come here,"

"Martin what is it?" Jackie asks

"It's nothing just come here,"

"What does he want?" Jonny chimes in

"What is it?" I ask Martin

"What do you want?" Adam asks again.
"Just bleedin' come here would you!" Martin practically yells. Adam walks off closely followed by Jonny, who insisted I came as well.

"Why are you all going into the bathroom?" I ask

"Do you think he's gonna show you his..." Jonny trails off and I realise that it may be about Martins issue,
"Oh god," Adam whines.
"Good luck," I tell him.

Martin refuses to let Jonny or me in, not that I particularly wanted to see what was going on anyway.
"I guess that's one way to do father-son bonding," I tell Jonny.
He laughs, "Yeah, I'm almost glad I'm not involved,"
"Almost?"

He grins at me before taking my hand and opening the bathroom door.
"Nice family piss?" Jonny says while entering.
"Go away," Martin tells him.

I am currently stood between Adam and Jonny in their bathroom with Martin who may have been talking about his penis. Seems pretty normal.
"So.." I start,
"Did he show you his.." Jonny finishes.

"No it's not about that," Adam informs us, which I'm glad to hear. Martin gives the three of us strange looks clearly not understanding.
"Oh females?" Jonny guesses
"Yup,"

"Females? Do you mean as in-"
"Girlfriend yes," Adam sighs.

"Adam here," Martin pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket.
"What?"
He shows it to Adam but me and Jonny can clearly see what it is.
"Excellent," Adam says sarcastically
"A dating site," I read off the paper,
"Jewish dating sites," Adam corrects. I can't help but laugh, his father had seriously decided to give him a list of Jewish dating sites.
"Brilliant," Jonny comments.

"Did you know that there are places you can go on the internet to find girls?" Martin asks.
I can't tell if he is being serious I mean has he not come into contact with modern technology.
"Are there?" Jonny tauntingly asks.

"Yes dad I know that,"
"Well how do you know?"
"Because I live in the world,"  Adam looks at his dad in amazement.

Then unexpectedly, Jackie walks in.
"What are you all doing?"
"Nothing mum," Adam says
"Just Adams potty training," Jonny explains,
"He can almost do it by himself," I add which causes Adam to roll his eyes at us.

"Go away Jackie!" Martin tells her,
"Shut up Martin,"

"It's about females," I say while Jonny hands her the piece of paper.
"Oh," Jackie quickly shuts the door before joining the rest of us, leaving Adam confused.

"Right so are we all really just going to stand in the toilet," Adam asks
"Looks like it," I smile at him.
"So," Martin asks "Are you going to go on the internet?"

"Yes at some point I'll go on the internet,"
"To look at girls," Martin questions
"Well what do you think the internets for?"

I can't help but roll my eyes, there are a lot of other things the internet can be used for. But I guess girls could be a reason.

"I do think you should go on the internet," Jackie encourages.
"Brilliant," Jonny laughs.

"Shut up," Adam replies before sitting down on the toilet. "Mum I'm not going on the internet!"

"Please just a little look with dad on the internet," Jackie pleads
"I have to look with dad!"

"This keeps getting better," I say to Jonny. We both laugh at the poor boy who's being interrogated.

Adam suddenly pick up the air freshener and tries choking us all with it meaning we have to leave the bathroom. "Listen I am not going on the internet to look at girls with dad,"

"Twenty pounds," Martin bargains
"Done."

And that is how we ended up upstairs with Adam on the computer looking at girls.
Well it was girls until Martin took over.
"You're still looking at men dad," Adam points out
"Dad seriously,"

"Found a wife yet?" Jonny asks as he walks in
"More like a husband," I tell him while looking at the screen,
"Even better," he grins.

Adam sighs.
"Any news on the three penises?" Jonny asks while disguising it with a cough. I shake my head.
"Adam! Women," Martin calls out, however they all look over the age of 50.

"Your suppose to be finding me someone to go on a date with, not to bury,"
"What about her," Martin says pointing to the woman at the top of the page who isn't real, she's just the sites advert.
"She is nice," Jonny says.
"I agree, she's very pretty." Even though I know she's not real, she does look beautiful.

"Dad she's not real," Adam tries to tell him, "Just the advert on the site."
"She looks pretty real to me," Martin continues while laughing, but it soon turns into spluttering.
"Adam, speaking of adverts, don't you have your jingle on soon?" I ask him.

"Oh my god, what time is it?" He checks the computer "Shit it's on in a minute, come on!" he quickly leaves but not before taking the twenty his dad owes him and wiping ice cream on Jonnys face.

𝐹𝒶𝓁𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊  //Friday Night Dinner\\Where stories live. Discover now