A Closed Window [An SVU Fan Fic]

1

The window was covered in handprints of different sizes. Larger ones of adults. Smaller one of kids. The window protects the person inside the room from getting sick. From getting sneezed and coughed on. To prevent them from getting sicker than they already were.

"How are you doing?" She asked gently, as held her shaky fingers to the intercom button and her other hand was pressed against the glass.

"Lower than usual." He croaked out. Olivia frowned deeply as she tried to fight off tears.

"Just think about getting out of here." She smiled forcefully. All she wanted was to make him feel better, but she couldn't go in there to comfort him. She could only use her words, and they were failing her more and more as the days went by.

"I'm never getting out of here... I'll die in here." He whimpered. Olivia swallowed hard before closing her eyes as a failing attempt to keep her cheeks dry. She had cried too many tears in the past few months, that she never wanted to cry again.

"You won't die here, Trev. You can't. I refuse to lose you." She breathed. Trevor looked away from her and focused on his pale and extremely thin hands.

"How is he doing?" Trevor croaked out, as he tried to think of anything other than dying. He knew it would happen eventually, and probably sooner than he and Olivia would ever be ready for.

"He's five, Trev. He doesn't know what to think. What to feel. He's not sleeping at all, and he refuses to eat." Olivia frowned deeply.

"I don't want to leave him, but if I have too..."

"We don't want you to leave, Trevor. We both love you so much, and this is taking its toll on both of us. But we just keep fighting, and you need to keep fighting too." Olivia breathed. She looked at the hand that was pressed against the window before smiling.

"Why are you smiling? I'm sick and you are pretty much a single mother." Trevor grumbled.

"We may not be able to hug, kiss, make love... but I'll always have those memories to keep me going. I'll always be able to think about when we first met. When we first kissed each other. Our wedding day... the day that our little Quinny was born." Olivia smiled.

"He was a huge baby." Trevor chuckled, and Olivia smiled softly.

"You don't say." She teased. Trevor looked over at his wife before forcing a smile.

"We'll get another baby, Liv. I promise you."

"I'll hold you to that promise. Quintin wants a baby brother or sister. He tries to talk about wanting to become a big brother more than he talks about you." Olivia breathed.

"I'll impregnate you, even if it's the last thing I do." Trevor laughed, before starting to cough like crazy. It wasn't long before his sheets were speckled with blood.

///

Olivia went home that night with absolutely no good news to share with her son. Quintin was sitting beside the coffee table with his babysitter. He and Lucy were working on some of his math homework, but he clearly wasn't working with her to get it done. He was fighting her more than anything because he refused to speak. To participate.

"Quinny?" Olivia asked as she shed her jacket by the door. Quintin looked over at the door and saw his mother. She was alone as usual, and a smile didn't grow on his lips.

"Mama, can I be done?" He whispered, and Olivia walked over and looked over the blank worksheet before frowning deeply.

"You can take a break. We can work on this before bed." Olivia spoke softly. Quintin stood quickly, before running towards his bedroom. Olivia watched as he disappeared down the hallway, before sinking down beside her baby sitter.

"He refused to even pick up his pencil tonight," Lucy said with a defeated sigh.

"He's lost without his Daddy." Olivia frowned. She packed up her son's folder, before placing it in his backpack.

"How is Trevor doing tonight?" Lucy asked.

"He had to be intubated again. He was coughing up blood while I was there." Olivia whispered so her son wouldn't hear.

"What?" Lucy whispered.

"His lungs are an absolute mess, Lucy. Even if he can get a transplant, there may have been too much damage done already." Olivia sighed softly.

"He's at the top of the list, isn't he? Like the first set of lungs go to him?"

"They have to be a match though, Lucy. If they aren't a match, they will go to the donor that they match with. We may be going at this for a few more weeks, months, or even years if he makes it that long."

"He's such a good man, Mrs. Langan... Are you okay if I take off?" Lucy asked, and Olivia nodded.

"Yeah. You can head home. I'm staying home tomorrow, and I feel like Quinny will be staying home too. Enjoy your day off." Olivia smiled.

///

Olivia walked her sitter out, before going back inside and going to check in on her little man. Quintin was lying face down in his bed with his face buried in the pillow.

"Quinny, I think we should talk." Olivia breathed.

"Is Daddy dying?" Quintin sniffled.

"Love-"

"Mama, just tell me! I need to know!" Quintin sobbed. It broke Olivia's heart, and she didn't know how to respond.

How does someone tell their five-year-old that their father may never come home again? That his lungs were too damaged, that he couldn't even breathe by himself anymore?

"Quintin, Daddy is doing everything in his power to come back to us. He will be able to go camping with us again. To make sure you get to be a big brother. He loves us both so much, and he isn't going to give up."

"Everyone else at school has Daddys that play catch with them! My Daddy can't even hug me anymore! He can't even catch his breath enough to read me a story!" Quintin sobbed, as he rolled over and looked at his mother.

"You don't need or want a Daddy that is the same as all the others. Your father is amazing, even if he is sick. He'll come back to us eventually, and then everything will be okay. Now, Quinny... c'mere. Let me hug you and kiss those tears from your cheeks."