Society Says // Seungin

~Twenty-Six~

::::

Yang Jeongin:

Day 27

I woke up with a pit in my stomach. My heart felt heavy, my stomach ached, and my eyes burned trying to adjusted to the light.

I groaned, feeling like crap. I looked at my hands, and they were so transparent you could almost see right through them. If I hold them up, you can see a blurry image of whatever is behind it.

It really scared me.

I got up from my bed, and ran my hand through my hair. Something instantly felt wrong, and when I looked at my hand, there was a chunk of my hair in it.

So now I'm losing my hair too?

I frowned, and looked over to the mirror. It wasn't obvious that hair was gone. Maybe if I just don't touch my hair, it'll fall out slower and I won't go...bald by the time I die.

I have a lot of hair anyway, so the most that could happen is maybe a little bald patch. But the thought sent chills throughout my body.

Unlike I expected, my hair faded along with the rest of my body. I thought as my body fades, my hair would still look the same. But it becomes just as transparent as the rest of me.

Except when my hair falls out, it reappears as completely visible again. It made me feel emotional, that's the most I've actually seen myself since this whole fading thing started.

I looked at the piece of hair for a bit, before I just threw it out in the little trash can in my room.

I got dressed, but as I put the sweatshirt over my head, I suddenly felt very nauseous. The room started spinning, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I ran to the bathroom, praying that my foot wouldn't glitch and stall my time. The rest was not very ideal.

Afterwards, I slowly made my way back to my room, and crashed down on my bed. I was breathing heavily, and I haven't felt this terrible since I got pneumonia when I was seven.

This is what it must feel like close to your end day. I remember watching the documentary, and it says something along the lines of your body starting to shut down to prepare your death. Its what I'm experiencing right now.

I pulled out my phone, and opened the calendar. I started fading on May 6th, and I counted the days from then to today. June 2nd. It's been twenty-seven days, so it'll be a month in three days. That's probably the day I'll fade completely.

Sighing, I got myself up from my bed and made my way downstairs. I opened the cabinet, and took some pills that'll hopefully make me feel a bit better. To my disadvantage, there's no pills to make you stop fading. Or else, I would have definitely taken those as soon as possible.

I sat down on the couch in the living room, wrapping myself in a soft blanket, and had a glass of water next to me. I just needed to relax. I shouldn't get myself all worked up over this now, so close to the end.

I think tomorrow, I'll go over to Seungmin's house and check in on how he is doing. He's just as scared as I am, but doesn't want to show it.

He's very brave, and I wish I had his courage.

~

The entire go live album slaps so hard!! My favorite tracks are Ta, Phobia, and Haven, but I also love pacemaker. What were your favorites?