Happiness| hyunmin

melancholy

I woke up in the nurses office. I turn around in a familiar set up once again, but this time Felix was right next to me instead of hyunjin.

"OMG SEUNGMIN. MY BABY!!!" Felix screamed in my ear. "I heard what happened." His voice lowered. "I'm so so so sorry... I couldn't be there for you. Jisung and Minho are taking down almost everything around the school with the help of hyunjin." He continued talking.

Hyunjin. Just hearing his name hurt me. I didn't want to think about it. I don't want him to get hurt. I-

"MINNIE oh my god are you ok." He slammed the door open. He quickly walked over to me and gave me a hug. "Don't scare me like that you- you passed out in my arms and and I freaked I didn't know what to do..." I felt his voice trembling. Tears fell onto my shoulder.

"Jinnie..." The tears just couldn't stop. I felt so bad he was going through all this, but I still loved him. I didn't want to hurt him, but I still wanted to be with him. I hugged him tighter then i already was. Both Felix, Jisung, and Minho stepped out to give us some space "Jinnie, look at your face its all messed up because of me.." I touched his face, but then looked down to my lap and grabbed the sheets that were underneath me. I started to tear up again.

Little water droplets of tears fell onto the bed. They ran down my face onto my lips. It was salty and bitter. A hand caressed my face.

"It's not your fault Minnie, plus I don't think anybody would want to harm me." He said as he laughed, but it seemed forced. These emotions and everything that I was feeling. It was melancholy... a feeling i never wanted to feel while being in a relationship. I felt bitter and sad.

"It is my fault Hyunjin, if we never went on the date none of this would've happen. If if i just told you that day that 5 pm was to late... we would've never gone and we never would've gone back home and and we wouldn't have kissed..." The words escaped my mouth I felt like an asshole but what could I do. I didn't want to see the person I loved most getting hurt. All he did was just hug me and told me that it was alright.

For the rest of the day I stayed in the nurses office I didn't want to burden anyone, except that I was and it was to the nurse.

"I'm sorry for intruding into your own time and just staying here... I just really don't want to go outside..." I pulled the covers over me once more.

"you are ok seungmin I know how hard it may be for you too." he started typing on his computer. I just laid down in silence and thought of everything. Hyunjin mainly. The guy that I am dating is hurting and yet i can't help him because i'm a coward. My eyes were already so puffy from crying all day.  Yet the only thing  I could do was cry. I'm 100% sure that i could have a pool of just my tears. Every period hyunjin would come by and check up on me but i didn't have the courage to face him.

"minnie... please can you look at me?" He tapped my shoulder. I knew that I was hurting him I just didn't know how to show my face to him. I knew that we would worry about me, yet i couldn't be there for him. Each time he came into the nurses office he came in with more bruises but didn't want to tell me. He was having a harder time then me, but then again he doesn't know the situation with Chanyeol and it isn't something I just want to bring up.

The last bell rang. Hyunjin didn't come pick me up, but I did know who did. I grabbed my book bag and walked out of the nurses office. My heart rate picked up and each step I took kept getting louder and louder. My heart beat was thumping and as well it got louder. My breathing started getting heavier. You could practically see it.

By the time I got to the door. I felt like fainting but I knew that I had to get out. I have to face my fears head on but i couldn't. I stopped right before I opened the door. The sunlight hit my eyes and it blinded me for a second. The gates seemed so close yet so far at the same time. There he was waiting for me to fall for his trap. His eyes gazing straight into me like a hunter ready to hunt it's pray. I slowly started to walk up to him. My legs giving out halfway getting there. Everything around me started getting dizzy. I couldn't breathe. I could hear footsteps come up. Before I knew it I was getting picked up.

"'Minnie get up... Lets go home come one." This persons voice sounded so familiar yet I couldn't pin point who it was until I looked up and saw that it was Lix. The person who knows why I feel this way. "Hyunjin get your ass over-" I covered his mouth. I shook my head signaling that it would only make things worse. "Never mind you stay away..." For the first time in a while Felix sounded pissed "I'll be the one who takes him home." He continued to walk and glared right into Chanyeol's eyes until we were gone from his gang.

We walked all the way home. It seems that Felix contacted my mother that I wasn't feeling well.

"Minnie baby come here." she came up to me and pulled me up. My legs were finally regaining its strength and I could walk again. "thank you Felix come on in and have dinner with us and explain to me what happened."

From the corner of my eye I could see hyunjin just staring at us as if he had just missed something very crucial in my life...