Happiness| hyunmin

Saddness

A week passed by. I didn't feel like myself. I had to stop hanging out with my friends. They were worried. Chanyeol transferred schools to mine. I said I wouldn't go back so he said he would come to me instead.

To be honest with myself. I don't think I have feelings anymore. He kisses me but I don't feel anything. He comes near me I don't get scared. I looked so dead and I felt dead. I felt like a zombie (stream zombie by day6). I saw hyunjin in the hallways and the same as me he looked dead.

It seemed like he was ready to kill someone everytime we passed by him. Chanyeol would spin me around and hold my waist and kiss me. I could see hyunjin, but at this point I can't feel anything.

I didn't know how to feel. I felt bad but you got numb to what he was doing. I was being manipulated by him, yet I knew I was hurting. Day by day I went home and cried. I cried to my mom I cried myself to sleep. During the day whenever I went to the bathroom I cried. I wanted to be fine. Yet sadness filled my body. That was all I could feel that to the point you get numb to it.

I didn't want him in my life, yet it was for the best. I kept telling myself. Yet it wasn't for the best. My friends were hurting. The boy I loved was hurting. He was hurting so bad. The thing I didn't want him to feel. I didn't want to see him hurt. It hurt me. I'm sure he knew that it hurt me.

Maybe that's why he doesn't show that he's hurt. Jisung has been hanging with Minho but when he passes me through the hallways he gives me the softest smile and his eyes are so soft. Minho just puts his hand on jisung's waist. Felix. Felix is getting protected by changbin.

Changbin just glared towards chanyeol. Felix looks at me and he starts crying. I smile. But I cry.  I smile when I'm with him. But he doesn't know that I cry every two damn seconds when he's not around.

"Seungmin..." my eyes widen. I was in the bathroom crying. He decided to show up. "Hey bitch where are you. Your baby needs some kisses." He started banging on the bathroom stalls. He got to mine. "Get out hurry up." I quickly dried my tears and walked out.

I unlocked the door and I was faced with him. I got on my tippy toes and kissed him. I rinsed my hands we both walked out. My throat felt dry. Guess who passed by because next thing you know chanyeol is all over me.

Hyunjin punched him. Everyone around us got so shocked they didn't know what to do. Since the moment chanyeol moved to our school everyone was scared of him. There was nobody who wasn't scared of him. Even the bullies who bullied hyunjin and I were scared of him, yet here we are and he was getting punch by hyunjin. Felix started to run my way. He picked me up since my knees gave up.

"Come on now seungmin we have to go." He pulled me up. "Hyunjin will take care of this." He whispered into my ears. I got up and went with Felix. He gave me some water to drink.

"If things get worse and hyunjin isn't able to beat him. We're all here for back-up so don't you worry about it ok" Felix patted my head. He hugged me from behind and slowly calmed me down by petting the top of my head. I was safe. Safe in my best friends arm. I couldn't see hyunjin and chanyeol fighting. After a couple of minutes. Someone came and tapped me behind. I knew exactly who it's was. I turned around and I was right. It was hyunjin.

I quickly throw myself onto him. I clinged onto him. Afraid that if I let go he would leave me. Sure I wasn't ready for a relationship after all this. My mother got me a therapist during this whole week. Yet I wasn't able to talk to them. I was being threaten. Beaten and harassed by chanyeol. I was scared to the point where I couldn't talk to anyone about it yet here I was crying to the boy who I broke. His heart was probably more shattered than mine was. I can't stop crying. My sadness and anxiousness wouldn't go away I couldn't stop shaking.

He slowly patted my back. He carefully put his hand under my chin to make me look at him.

"I'm so sorry Minnie... for leaving you alone this whole time. He said I was to weak so I started boxing just to be able to beat the crap out of him. I'm glad it paid off. I truly love you seungmin and it pained me so much to see you hurt. Your eyes that always shined brighter than any other star in the world we're suddenly being shut down. I couldn't handle it anymore." He pulled me into a hug tighter than before.

It was warmer than before. I felt safe once more. He was my safe zone and I pushed him away.

"Hyunjin... I'm so sorry. I didn't want anyone getting hurt yet... here you are your face all bruised up and and your heart is probably shattered. I thought I doing a good job. I thought I was protecting everyone. Yet I was hurting. And all of you were hurting. I'm... so sorry you guys." My tears felt like waterfalls. Once I started the tears didn't end. All of them got near me and hugged me including Minho. 

There hugs were kind and soft. Chanyeol was being dragged by some bullies now that he was down. They got caught by the teacher though.

"Thanks you guys for always being here and not leaving me." I slowly said.

"I love you all so much and I don't think I'll ever stop loving you!"