No Love

Chapter 15

ALIJAH POV

'There's so much wrong, not even just what's happened here in Cali. Things that I've been kicking under the rug, I want to talk about but I don't know how to talk about. Nor do I want to bring out old feelings because I'm past that and I don't wanna go back there again.' That's what I wanted to say when August asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't.

I need Amber. And not just over a phone.

"It's hard. And scary. Like what if that shit happens again and I can't do anything but get my ass beat just like last time. It's not like I'm the only one that's scared either. I know Pops is too, hell, he won't let me go anywhere alone anymore. And even when I do go somewhere I don't wanna be paranoid and looking over my shoulder. That's not cool, fair either. Whoever those dudes were that did this to me could be plotting on me right now and I don't even know when they'll do it again, if they're going to. That's what's scary."

"Aye, c'mea lemme talk to you real quick." He pulled my arm.

"Hm?"

"Uh, shit. I don't know how to say this," He said running his hand over his face.

"Just say it."

"Fuck," he laughed.

He looked at me again and smiled, causing me to smile back.

"What, bro?"

"I love you."

"What," I asked, although I had heard him as clear as day.

"I care because I got love for you. I love you."

I was taken back by his statement, nonetheless. I didn't know what to say. I don't know if I loved him. Hadn't even thought about that. Of course there's love there for him but not love. At least I don't think so.

I couldn't say 'I love you too'. What if I didn't?

I sat up and cleared my throat.

"Look August, I don't want you to take this wrong so I'm gonna say it the best way I know how. I don't want to say I love you, because I don't really know if I do or not. But I care for you, a lot."

"It's cool."

"Are you mad?"

"Nah, you being honest and I can only appreciate that."

"How long have you known," I questioned as I moved sitting with my legs crossed in front of him.

"I don't believe that love at first sight shit but, that's kinda what it felt like, ya know. It wasn't at first sight cause I thought you was one of these little thots the first day I saw you."

I waited for him to laugh but he didn't. He was serious.

I raised my eyebrows. "Yo, you really thought that? What gave you that impression?"

"On everything, you gave me that 'you can get it' look and hell I would've taken it. It was all over your pretty ass face."

I couldn't help but smile at his last remark.

"Wow. Cool beans."

"But shit, once I really started to fuck with you I fell for you. Fast and hard as hell," he chuckled.

"Fell for me?"

"Hell yeah. I ain't never been so open so fast. Not to compare or no shit like that but Crystal didn't find out about my home life until we were almost a year in. You make yourself available in a way that leaves me no choice but to open up. I like that shit though."