No Love

Chapter 9

August POV

After I got out of the shower, I put on a pair of boxers and brushed my teeth. I walked in my room, going to my closet to find something to wear. I just got a plain black t-shirt and some jeans since it's just school. When I finished getting dressed and everything, I went to my kitchen to find something to eat.

I decided to just cook some eggs and toast. Something simple and light. I sat in the living room watching Why Do Fools Fall In Love when somebody knocked on the door. I ignored it a bit as I finished my food but the shit didn't stop.

I kissed my teeth as I got up to take my plate to the kitchen. I decided against washing it and instead went to the back to grab my stuff. The time on my phone was 7:32 and it was past the time I usually headed out for school.

I opened the door to see my momma standing on the other side just about to knock again.

She looked better than she usually did. She actually looked like someone today. Usually, you could tell that she hadn't washed herself or her hair in a minute simply by the way she looked. but today she looked different, better. None of that changed the way I felt about her right now though.

"What you want? I don't have money if that-"

"No baby. I don't want your money. I want to come home and talk to you," she said trying to walk in but I pulled the door up behind me.

"You don't live here. Where your boyfriend?"

"I'm not with him anymore. Can you please just let me in? I need to talk to you."

"You can talk to me right here," I spoke to her as I turned away from her to lock the door.

Once I turned back around, she began to speak again but I diverted my attention elsewhere.

"Fine. The least I can do for you is respect your wishes. Can we sit down?"

"I'm good."

"Have a seat, August," she spoke more sternly and I gave her a slight mug.

"I said I'm good. Don't you have something you need to say? Cause if not you can be the fuck out."

"August, what I won't do is tolerate you talking to me like that! I am still your mama and you will respect me, whether you like it or not! Now sit your ass down, shut up and listen to what I have to say."

I kissed my teeth but I did just what she said. Mad was an understatement to how I felt towards her, but I was gone shut my ass up and listen to her because her hands carry power. I looked at her as I waited for her to speak.

"I just want to say that I'm sorry for just abandoning you like I did. I know it wasn't right, but I wasn't in my right mind then. I just didn't know how to deal with myself after your brother died. I couldn't handle waking up every morning and knowing that I would never be able to see one of my boys' face again," she said as a tear fell from her eyes. "I thought leaving would help, but it didn't because I wasn't able to see any of my kids. There were so many times that I wanted to come home, but I knew you would hate me for doing what I did to you. And if you do hate me, I understand, you're still a baby, my baby and I just left you to raise yourself. I see you've done a good job doing that and I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself and staying in school. I may not have been showing it but, I love you. I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me."

She stood in place for a moment and wiped her tears and I couldn't stand to see her cry so I looked down at the pavement of the porch. I could hear her let out a small breath before I could see her feet carrying her away from her previous position.