Unbinding Ties of Sloth

Kabanata 53

"Saan ka galing?"

"Church, Pa. Nagpractice po." Dumaan ako sa kitchen for a cold water. I didn't know that he actually waited for me. It's only 6 in the evening.

"Anong mapapala mo diyan? I told you to study well. Paano ka makakapasa sa UNI kung ganito ang mga grades mo?"

UNI was my brother's school where he took Law. It's the most popular international school for Law, Medicine and Business outside the country. He just graduated and will be taking his BAR. Tinitigan ko ang report card ko na inilapag niya sa ibabaw ng mesa.

94. 95. 92. Mababa pa iyon?

"Bakit di mo gayahin ang kuya mo? Kaysa sa kung saan-saan mo inaabala ang sarili mo. Nag-aaksaya ka ng panahon sa pag-attend ng walang kabuluhang bagay."

That hurts. Ang ikumpara ako sa half brother kong magaling. At sabihing ang pagtugtog ng gitara at pag-awit ay walang kwenta. It's painful hearing my family belittle my passion.

Haven't he heard of multiple intelligence? Why do parents pressure their children to strive well in academics to fulfill their own goals in life? Don't they realize that their children has their own needs, wants, talents and passion too?

Akala ko noon nang sapilitan niya akong kunin mula kay Mama, magiging mabuti na ang kalagayan ko. Kaya kahit labag sa loob ko, kahit napilitan si Mama na ipamigay ako sa kanya, pinilit kung maging okay sa ganitong set up.

Only to find out, hindi ako ipinamigay ni Mama. My mother's cousin sold me to my father. Itinago ako ni Mama kay Papa. Kasi alam niyang kukunin ako mula sa kanya. It's disappointing to think that those whom she trusted, betrayed her for money. Dahil mayaman si Papa, wala nang nagawa pa si Mama.

But hell! Mas malala pa pala ang sitwasyon ko dito. Bukod sa gusto niyang kontrolin lahat ng kilos ko, pati desisyon ko pinapakialaman din niya. Hindi pa nakatulong na mayabang ang half brother ko. He will always boast about his achievements.

Yeah. You heard it right. My mother is the second wife. Namatay ang unang asawa when Kuya Mike was five. Maraming bagay ang hindi napagkakasunduan ang mga magulang ko. That's the problem when someone marries a person who has a different belief and principle in life. My mother is a born again Christian while my father worships his money and business.

I found it out nang sabihin niyang nagmana ako kay Mama at wala man lang akong nakuhang ugali mula sa kanya. How ironic, right? A parent who wants his son to follow his legacy when he's a heartless business man whose only goal is to profit kahit pa magsinungaling sa media at sa madla.

The reason why he adored my brother. Kasi pareho sila ng paraan mag-isip. Samantalang ako, walang maipagmamalaki.

Araw-araw niyang ipinapamukha sa akin na wala akong mararating kung hindi ko siya pakikinggan. He has provided everything for my brother. Kahit nga pati bisyo ni kuya sa clubbing and bar hopping suportado nito.

Gusto kong umalis. Maglayas. But where would it bring me? Kaya heto. Nagtitiis akong pakisamahan siya at ang panganay niyang anak.

One day, I'll be able to stand in my own and walk away. Habang wala pa ako sa legal na edad, magtitiis muna ako. Anyway, this week ay 18 na ako. I can leave this hell soon.

"Ayusin mo next sem!"

"Yes, Pa."

"No more playing that shit." Saad niya nang makitang dala-dala ko ang gitara nang tumalikod na ako.