Sincerely | k.th.

24. First

I glanced over to the clock and noticed it was well after midnight, almost one am.

After I left Taehyung, telling him I wasn't feeling well, I jotted my day down in the diary I'm writing for him and tried to sleep afterward but it was impossible.

I couldn't stop thinking of everything that was said and done, not to mention how I scratched the surface of almost baring my soul in this diary. I'm feeling so confused and this is the reason why I've kept my feelings about him buried.

I'm not an idiot. I knew someday we would finally meet and there was a slight possibility something could kindle but I guess I didn't expect it to be this intense. I thought if something was meant to be that it would happen naturally and there would be no struggle of what if or no obstacle to barricade it from occurring. I know that I'm the struggle in this but I can't quite put my finger on what the barrier could be. I'm not as intuitive as I would like to be and I don't tend to see things past the surface but something has always made me dig deeper with Taehyung.

This isn't a first.

Ugh...and what is this three days thing? Well, technically we are on day five so only two days for him to do whatever he set out to do on this trip. Maybe this trip was never about me or us. Maybe it's something bigger and I was just a means of bringing along for the ride.

No Kye...that's not fair. I shouldn't think that way. Taehyung would never use me like that. He's been truthful and I trust him but I'm just so worried about him.

I really wish I could see him but he's probably resting. I don't want to disturb him.

Glancing at the clock again, I sat up from bed and walked over to the patio door. Opening it, I felt an immediate relief watching the ocean. I still have yet to spend some time on the beach.

I walked out, away from the house and onto the sands. Mmm...the sand between my toes is what stirs the butterflies inside me because I know what lies ahead. It's so peaceful hearing the waves crashed the shore. Maybe I just might sleep out here.

Walking along, I noticed a figure a few feet out, standing next to what looks to be a telescope. On instant, I looked up to see the sky filled with stars. Seeing this made me realize that I hadn't allowed myself time to even take in the nightly heaven and no time would be better than now.

The closer I came toward the figure, the harder my heart began to pound.

He stood by the telescope, looking like and angel of the night. The white he adorned made him look heavenly as his hair danced in the wind. Staring at one another was all either of us could do. I was afraid to speak and he had a similar look in his expression. Taehyung is always the first to say something but I'm sure after what almost happened between us, he was leaving that honor up to me.

This is a first.

"Taehyung..." His expression softened from the calling of his name. "What are you doing?"

Taehyung moved away from the telescope and over to me, closer than I expected. "I couldn't sleep really. I couldn't stop thinking of you but I didn't want to bother you. Are you feeling okay?"

I nodded. "Y-Yeah. I'm okay. I couldn't sleep much either so I wanted some fresh air."

That beautiful smile of his curved onto his heart shaped lips. I never thought I would be so happy to see it and I didn't expect the fireworks of nerves exploding inside me. That familiar tremble came back as his fingertips traced alongside my face.

"I'm glad you're okay." He murmured and glanced over at the telescope before drawing his gaze back to me. "So, I was kinda saving this for us tonight but since you're here..." He trailed as he turned away, walking towards the scope, "will you join me?"

Smiling, I nodded and eased toward  him. "Stargazing?" I wondered.

"Yeah. Would you like to see? I just spotted Cassiopeia." Taehyung spoke as he gestured me to take a look. Sure enough, he was right. I was always amazed at his interest in astronomy.

Leaning away from the telescope, I brushed against Taehyung, gaze falling immediate to his lips.

"I need to tell you something Kye." His statement slurred in his accent, heavy and rasp that emitted a typhoon of butterflies in my tummy.

"Tell me what?" A whisper crept low from my lips.

Taehyung lifted his hand to my face, melting me against the feathered touch of his fingertips while our gazes wandered each others. "To know is to have lived. To live is to have life. Life starts with you, Kye."

My head spun as I was caught between breaths hearing the same phrase that appeared to me a day before he came, realizing it was him who had left it. Eyes wielded with tears once more as my heart could be heard in my ears, not deafening but enlightening. It was a melody, sweet, lyrical and natural.

I felt struggle free in the moment but wonder and concern beckoned me.

"Won't that be hard Taehyung? You live around the globe and I'm here. It wouldn't be fair to you..."

"Kye..." Taehyung called as he wiped away the cascading tear down my cheek. "...distance will never matter as long as I'm with you. Je suis amoureux de toi."

My breath hitched before being taken from me in the softest kiss I've never known.

I could spend centuries saying how his lips were honey sweet and soft like a plush pillow. I could even say the stroke of them placed me in a haze of emotions that trickled from my eyes more. However, none of that could compare to how his body was so close to mine that I felt our heartbeats sync with the motion of our kiss. Two beats from one heart and it resonated in his lips.

Our heartbeat inhabited our kiss.

It was in that crystal clear moment that confirmed how much I was in love with him as well. The struggle was over and all sense of anything flew out the metaphorical window.

Years I have imagined this moment, building countless scenarios and reasons how it would happen and where. Creating mystery and intrigue around it, filling us with drama and suspense. I wanted that perfect, like the movies first kiss and I'm having it right now.

Though I've had a boyfriend before and experienced a kiss, it wasn't anything remotely close to this. Taking everything into a account like, the first letter, the first response and the first promise were just milestones leading to the journey that brought us here. We experienced many firsts apart from each other and some I even wished I had with him but this is what tops any of them because right now, in this very moment...

....I was being kissed by my first love.

♥️♥️♥️

Cupid 💘