Sincerely | k.th.

33. Reflection

Taehyung's Point of View

***

Time may have kept going but my thoughts remained trapped inside my week in Hawaii. I don't know how I've been able to function and it's been well over a month since my screw up, though saying screw replaced the four letter word I really felt.

I don't understand what went wrong.

Euna and I did everything right. I combed through all of the details down to the day she appeared. The deals that we made were sealed to a tee, what could have possibly happened?

Maybe nothing. Maybe this was the way fate intended it to be and I should just live with it.

Fate wanted me miserable, laughing manically at my misfortune and leaving me to be the butt of this horrendous joke.

Who did I piss off in a past life or perhaps Euna was the one being punished?

How are we doomed in love when it is blessed for so many others? I loved and now I've lost. How is that fair?

To marry a woman that I am not in love with nor in love with me is the equivalent of walking bare feet on millions of broken pieces of glass that sat atop scorching coals of fire forced by gunpoint.

I would rather be shot.

Pity on myself, yes but I feel even more pity for Euna.

I'm no matchmaker but the moment I saw the way Hobi stared at Euna, as if he was living through the future of her by his side, my mission was clear. I recognized that look on instant. It was the same that haunted me every time I stared at my photos of Kye. I knew I wanted to share the rest of my life with her and I was going to do anything to make that happen.

I've known Euna from around uni and took a few classes with her. It wasn't difficult to introduce her to Hobi. He was shy to the reception but she wasn't. Apparently, she was working up the courage to be able to talk to him. I just happened to make it easier for her.

Was that fate or me interfering?

I admired how their love blossomed and unfolded into an allure that personified every crevice of love. I envied this because I wanted it also. I dreamed night after night of being with Kye and experiencing this as well.

Flesh to Flesh.

Every letter written to her were subtle hints about me thinking of her beyond the notion of friendship, but the letter I wrote to her when she was away on the cruise with her family, should have said it all.

The only unwritten truth I held back in the letter was the fact that I was in love with her. From that day, I began counting down the days in which I would utter the words to her.

Face to Face.

After that letter, the news of my arranged marriage to Euna was now the plight in my plans. Hurt and anger at my parents decision created a new mission for me. I refused to be a victim of this and I risked my life on everything it took not to make it happen.

Still, I failed.

In the days coming, I will be married and I will begin my miserable life. The hellish scenarios I've considered to get out of this: moving Hobi and Kye in with Euna and I, faking my death and obtaining a permanent residence in America under a different name, even faking a sex tape and leaking it, disgracing myself and having me disowned by my family. That last one was an automatic ticket to Kye and I would never once consider coming back.

I wish I had the heart to do any of this.

"Taehyung?"

My eyes fluttered as the voice of my mother echoed before she approached me. I turned to see my father right behind her. I bowed to them respectfully.

"You were quiet at dinner tonight. Is everything alright?" She wondered.

I gave them a long stare before I nodded. I love my parents with all my heart. I am ever grateful for the life they gave me but I am disappointed in them for the coercion of a marriage they've arranged.

"Nervous about the wedding son?" My father chimed in.

A sheepish glance from my mother landed toward my father. "We were just wondering if you and Euna were having any trouble finalizing details." She amended before her attention fell to me again.

I scoffed. "Euna said everything was under control. I trust whatever she does. Please excuse me, I must get going."

Exiting my old room where I slipped away to after dinner, I glanced at Yoongi who waited for me by the door front of the house. Without a word, we proceeded to my car and remained quiet during the drive to my apartment.

After arriving, Yoongi opened the door for me to exit but I hesitated to move. My mind had been slower than my body these days and I'm not giving them a chance to reconnect until I'm ready for them to. Huffing, I stepped out and stood next to him.

"Are you ready for tomorrow? The moving truck will be here at six am. Namjoon and Jungkook will accompany me. The rest said they will see you Sunday night."

Hearing this was one of the few things that brought a smile to my face. Having my friends with me during this time helped in keeping me sane, even Yoongi. He's managed to fit well in our circle and it's the one aspect of my life I would call complete.

"Yeah. Everything is packed and ready to go. I'll be sleeping on my floor tonight I guess." I mumbled.

Yoongi stared at me with worried eyes but I smiled, hoping to assure him otherwise. "See you tomorrow."

I proceeded to the steps of my building and inside, taking the elevator to my apartment.

Entering, I am greeted with stacked boxes, marked and ready to be shipped over to the new house I bought for me and my future wife. Mindlessly passing by them, I reached my bedroom and stripped down to my underwear before I lifted a slice of time and held it in my hand.

Before Kye left, she shoved a diary at me that held all of her thoughts about our week in Hawaii, down to the last day she left. I've read each page over and over as if I were five and it was my bedtime story.

Every word shattered my heart more than it already was and I tortured myself in the remembrance of my failure.

Time may have kept going but as long as I had this, I was content being trapped in the past.

♥️♥️♥️

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Cupid 💘