Purple Roses

PERSPECTIVE

Alice's P.O.V

I watch as Parker walks in the room.

"Alice- "but he stops when he sees my brother. His eyes widen and they swell with shock mixed with remorse. I take my eyes off Parker and lay them back on my brother's face.

He looks so at peace despite the pain he's probably in right now. He's sleeping. For the first time in two weeks, he's sleeping. Or he might not be and pretending to be okay just for me. I hear Parker's footsteps come towards me.

I take my brother's hand and gently squeeze it. He doesn't react like he usually does and continues to sleep. I look at his monitor and see that his heartbeat is stable. Everything is okay. Parker takes a seat beside me. I don't say anything still and start drawing hearts on the palm of my brothers' hand. When he's usually in pain, he would ask me to do this to him because he said he enjoys the feeling. It helps him concentrate on the sensation rather than the pain he's feeling.

Parker and I sit in silence just listening to the sound of my brothers' heartbeat monitor.

"How long has he been in here?" he finally decides to break the silence. "Two months." I reply and turn to look at Parker. He wasn't looking at me but at Alec. "I just came to visit him before I have to go back to University." I add. Parker turns to look at me. "You're a student?" he asks me. I nod. "Yeah. I'm doing my 4th year in Medical Sciences. I want to become a doctor." I give him a small smile.

He returns my smile. "That's nice." He replies. I nod and look down at my brother's and I's intertwined hands. "When Alec was 4 years old he was diagnosed with Leukemia." I start and look back up at Parker. He was watching me with a blank look on his face. "The first doctor we went to was able to medicate him well but stopped when we couldn't afford to pay the hospital bills." I gulp and try not to cry again.

"So we came here two months ago to meet Dr Martin." I say and I see his face flash with recognition of the Doctor I'm talking about. "Alec has gotten significantly better since we came here, I guess. And the hospital bills are affordable." I let go of Alec's hand to put my hands together on my lap.

It's been hard on my family since Alec has been in and out of hospital. Mom had to take on two jobs. And dad? He thought he could start gambling again to make more money but that did more harm than good. I don't want to go deep into it, just thinking about it...

"So he's sleeping right now. It's been a while since he's slept this peacefully." I look at my brother. He still hasn't woken up.

"I'm sorry for being so rude back then. It's just that schools are opening and I have to go back but I don't want to. I don't want to leave my brother's side again for so long." I blink away the tears threatening to spill. I'm not going to cry in front of Parker. "But I have to or else I'll fail him and myself." I stop, wiping away tears on the brim of my eyes. I refuse to let them win, especially in front of Parker.

We sit together in silence. "Rosie is in the other ward." He blurts out and my heart almost stopped.

I turn to give him a blank look. But what happened? Just three days ago she was so healthy and happy. She was full of energy and life. Now she's in hospital? My heart reaches for Rosie and Parker.

I wanted to ask what happened but I don't want to seem nosy. He didn't ask what happened to Alec, I told him. So I guess I should wait till he's ready. He sighs and starts scratching on the tip of his thumbnail. He's in deep thought. "She's been there for three days though." He chuckles giving me a quick glance. "I'm just waiting for her to wake up. She's been asleep all this time." He says and turns to face me.

"I've been so worried about her that I haven't been outside for three days, haven't eaten proper food nor had a decent nap." He chuckles scratching his neck.

"But that's okay right?" he looks into my eyes serious. "It's okay to worry about someone so much that you end up putting your life on hold just to be around them and see if they're okay." his words cut deep. "Seeing Rosie lying there unable to do anything made me realize something." he says his eyes getting foggy, deep in his thoughts. "I can't help but feel like I failed her." He whispers leaning forward, his elbows supporting him on his knees.

"I promised her that I'll protect her." He pauses shaking his head lightly. "Lose my focus on her just for a few minutes, shit hits the fan and Rosie's in hospital." He chuckles in disbelief. I lift my hand to try and bring him back from his sorrows but freeze. "But that's okay. The best I can do for her is to just be there and not leave her alone." He sighs shrugging. "And not repeat the same mistake twice." He adds determined all of a sudden.

I drop my hand and watch him in awe. And here I was thinking he was drowning. He turns to me with that determined look in his eyes. Parker is so solid and unwavering, I kind of envy him.

He then closes his eyes, sitting up straight.

I blink my eyes and look to Alec. 'The best I can do is to just be there and not leave him alone.' I feel a sudden warmth in my heart watching my brother sleep. I know mother wants to be here but can't because she's working double shifts so that she can pay the bills. Father can't be here because he's in rehab trying his best to get better so that he can help out as well. I know it may not be much but I'm here, right beside you. I'll never leave you alone because I know how much you fear being alone. Sleep in my room because you like having someone around you. Wake me up in the middle of the night to go accompany you to the bathroom because you don't like how quiet and dark the house is at night.

I'm then brought back to reality when Parker clears his throat watching me with his brown eyes boring deep through me. I blink away the tears.

"Are you okay?" he asks me worried. I nod weakly. "Yeah, sort of." I wipe away the tears on the brim of my eyes and chuckle embarrassed. "You know. We can just step outside and get a breath of fresh air." He smiles warmly at me. "My friends are coming over to grab lunch with me. Why don't you join us?" he asks me trying to be polite.

When Parker kissed me that day, I felt a connection between him and I, and I don't normally go around kissing strangers but for that split second I felt like I knew him. It was almost like I could peek into his future and envision me in it. I know it sounds stupid and ridiculous but that's just how I felt. In him I felt a comfort, security and an assurance that I've never felt before.

My heartbeat starts to increase and blood flows to my face as I realize he just invited me to spend time with him and his friends. It would be a great distraction for the both of us. Take some to breathe.

But.

"I can't." I say and I see his eyes widen in shock. "Oh?" he says shocked. I turn towards my sleeping brother. "I don't think I'll be the perfect company right now." I lower my eyes to look at my hands. "I'm just not in the best place right now. I hope you can understand." I look back up into his eyes.

He nods his head in understanding. "I understand. I guess we are both not in the best places right now." He chuckles rubbing the back of his neck. "So I guess I should get going." He stands up. He takes one look at Alec. "I hope things get better." He looks back to me. "For the both of you." He adds and walks out the room.

I watch as the door closes. My heart feels heavy already. I don't know why I did that. I know deep down I should be spending as much time as I could with Parker because in a few days I'm leaving, but, I guess the 'older sister' in me prevailed.

"I hope things get better for the both of you as well." I say as tears start to fall down my face again. I hold onto my brothers' hand and bring it close to me, holding on tight.