James' Point Of View
Nothing really happened, nothing changed, Michael likes to act like our make out session didn't happen and I wasn't going to bring it up. It's been a month and a half since we kissed. A whole month had passed of me just simply randomly taking him to work or home after school, no one really messed with me, no one messed with Michael, we ate lunch together but didn't talk much. I could tell he hadn't forgotten the kiss but didn't want to talk about it, it's tearing me up inside. He said he likes me but does he mean it?
We sat at lunch just tapping away on our phone, me just reading some things about vehicles. "Hey." I looked up at him, tired of him trying to act like he wasn't fazed by the kiss or it didn't happen, I was finally going to bring it up. It bothered me because I like him. Why do I like him so much that I'd want to talk about it. I don't like talking about feelings or anything. It makes me feel.. weak?
He looked up at me. "What is it?" He asked, sitting his phone down beside his tray.
"I.. I don't want to sound like a school girl or anything but we haven't even acknowledged the kiss, you said you like me but you don't show it." I told him.
"We are in public." He told me looking around at the people at their tables surrounding us. They were to occupied in their own conversations.
"No one will hear us." I told him. "I am tired of feeling like the only one with feelings for you. Either you tell me you were lying or tell me what you feel."
"I like you." He told me. "I know I liked you before but when I told you I was gay you gave me a hug, you tried to comfort me, that made me like you even more. I do like you. But I'm not in strong like? I don't know."
I nodded, what the heck is strong like? I tried to put my hand on top of his. He took his hand away quickly and put it in his lap. He looked around at all the people and I sighed at his attempt to keep his feelings secret. No one was watching but he still felt the need to hide.
"I think I'm going to walk to class a little early." He told me, getting up and taking his tray to the trash. I watched him leave. I didn't feel like going to last block so I skipped. I ran to my car and left.
I get that he doesn't want to show any affection towards me in public but no one was looking no one cared especially about me.. The only thing they cared about was getting on my nerves. They are magnificent at doing that.
Why am I so angry? He is just some stupid preachers son nerd that doesn't want to show how he feels. That freaking left me for years and just one day decided to ask me for a drive to work and just didn't stop. Why should I be so angry because I like this stupid guy and he isn't even in 'strong like' what the heck is that? You either like someone or you don't.
I pulled up to my house. My dad was home early from work. "Your mother, your sister, and I are going to be leaving for a little while, your grandmother isn't doing to good." He told me as he took a sip of the beer he had in his hand.
I nodded, "What about me?" I asked.
"You aren't going, you aren't causing any trouble for her." He told me. "I've asked the preacher to keep an eye on you, he'll be checking up on you everyday. Make sure you aren't starving, make sure you aren't in any trouble, no parties, and no drugs. Why are you home early?"
"I threw up in the bathroom, I decided to come home." I lied.
I didn't feel like doing anything like that. What friends would I party with? No drugs.. I don't want to do any.
"I'll call the school and tell them you are sick and throwing up, your mom is at the store, I'll tell her to get you some soups and stuff." He told me getting up and walking up the stairs to his room. I walked up to my room and lied in my bed.
I didn't want to move. I just wanted to lay there and not move. I honestly wasn't feeling the best. I turned on some music and listen to it. Andy Black's Ribcage came on. I love that song and that man he is so amazing and his voice is so deep. He is definitely attractive.
As I kicked my shoes off I heard my phone vibrate. I got a text. I didn't really care, I just lied there. I didn't want to look at my phone. I didn't want to talk to anyone.
After a while I felt myself drifting to sleep.
"I'm sorry, my daddy said we can't be friends anymore." Michael told me, playing with the hem of his shirt.
"Mike.. please don't listen to him. You're my only friend and I don't want to lose you!" I cried.
"I'm so so sorry Jay." He said, a tear rolling down his cheek.
"Please." I said. "We're going into Middle school! I need a friend."
"You can make new ones." He said.
"I don't want to." I told him. "You're my best friend.. my only friend. No one else likes me." I told him.
I jerked myself awake and found that it had been a few hours since I fell asleep.
I checked my phone and saw I only got one text.
Unknown: Hey babe.
Me: Who is this?
Unknown: Come on, you forgot that quickly? Do I have to remind you?
Me: Maybe.
Unknown: Check on your left side right below your waistline.
No.. it can't be. I turned to my waist and saw my the scar, shaped like an 'A' I started to feel my eyes sting as tears fell down my cheeks.
