The Brightest Star

Chapter 50 - Not Your Fault

~ 3 Nights Later ~

Abby sat in the stone table room, looking at the carving of Aslan. Today had been the first time she could bring herself to enter this room. The room where her life changed forever - and not for the better. Not only had her life changed - it had ended. She didn't see the point anymore. What reason did she have to live, if she didn't have Edmund? She didn't have joy. Or love. Or light. Or laughter. Just heartache. And emptiness. And grief. And it, was eating her alive.

A moment later, she heard someone sit beside her, but didn't bother looking to see who it was. She guessed it was Sydni or Anna, she was never alone for very long before one, or both of them found her.

"Hey."

Abby turned her head at the voice. It was much too masculine to be Sydni or Anna. She was surprised to see Peter sitting beside her. She hadn't seen him, Susan, or Lucy since Edmund died. She easily understood why. They were his family. Each of them had grieved just as much as her.

"Oh." Abby breathed. "Peter. Hey."

"How are you doing?" Peter asked gently.

Abby stared at him for a moment. "Just peachy." She mumbled, sarcastically before looking at the ground.

Peter sighed. "I mean, really? How are you really doing?"

Abby looked at him, tears suddenly filling her eyes - which happened more over the past three days than in her entire life. She swallowed hard. "My heart is broken, but it's still beating, and I honestly don't know why it is. I feel like I'm drowning and can't get air. It's like I'm stuck in a deep, dark black hole, with no escape. I'm dying, and there's no one there to save me. Like, I'm a shattered piece of glass, that will never ever be fixed."

Peter sighed. He wasn't exactly sure what to say. He didn't know if he needed to say anything. Not yet at least. He did know, Abby needed to get that off of her chest. Edmund said she would hide her emotions. Peter was determined to learn how she really felt. Now, he knew. He knew how what she needed to hear. He knew what to do and say, to hopefully help her.

  Peter sat in silence for a few moments, knowing that Abby needed it. When he felt it was the right time, he took a deep breath and spoke up. "I think this is a lot harder for you than for me."

  Abby looked at him, surprised. Sure, she was married to Edmund, and he died to save her. But, Peter and Edmund had an unbreakable bond. They were some of the closest siblings Abby had ever seen. They would die for each other without a second thought, they'd lived multiple lifetimes together. Yet, somehow, Peter thought this was harder for her?

"Why do you say that?" Abby asked.

  Peter took a deep breath. "I got to tell him goodbye." He said.

  Abby swallowed hard as her eyes once again filled with tears.

  "I tried to stop him. I tried my hardest to stop him. I didn't even want him to get the wand. But, once Edmund sets his mind to something, he sees it through no matter what. So, I listened as he told me goodbye. No matter how much I didn't want to hear it - because I didn't believe he would really need to say it - I listened. I'm happy that I did now. Anyway, when I woke up the next morning, he and the wand were both gone. I knew he didn't tell me because he knew I would try to stop him. He was right. I should've tried harder to do just that. If I had, maybe he would be alive." He choked out the last part, fighting back tears.

  "Peter." Abby said quickly. "This isn't your fault."

  "It is! I shouldn't have fallen asleep that night. Then I could have stopped him from killing Alaska and..." He sighed, trailing off. He swallowed hard before continuing a moment later. "I let my brother walk into death. I should have done something. I could have done something."