Kiss My Emerald Ass!

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I sat up after a long night thinking about the email from Midas. With a shrug I headed downstairs to watch TV glad I the day off since it's a Saturday. That's when my door was turned into gold and broken through. "I am Midas and you will join us or else." I looked at the muscular female with a glare. "One: You broke my door. Two: You broke my door. Three: I already said NO. Four: it's one of my days to relax. Five: Intruders!!!!!" That woke up the entire house including my Mom but in Momma Bear mode.

That's is when Zeus, Hespestus, North Wind, and Neptune walked in. They were about to grab me to drag me wherever when all my Nomu Forms charged in and simply ruined them in five seconds. Once that was done I restrained them all and took their quirks temporarily. Let's find out what's  up their asses. I'm tired of people bugging me for one reason or another.

When they woke up they tried to use their quirks and I laughed, "Don't worry, I currently hold your quirks. Now tell me, why did you destroy my door when I said NO?" The first to speak was Midas, "We broke it to kidnap you and bring you to our lair. Once there we were going to torture you into joining. Why did I say that?" I growled and NFs walked in surrounding them. One of the more feral looking ones spoke.

"YOU DARE THREATEN THE ONE WHO SAVED US? THE ONE WHO GAVE US BACK OUR MINDS? GAVE US HOME? GAVE US HOPE? IZUKU LET ME EAT THEM!" I shook my head as I petted him like we planned, "No we won't eat them yet. I'm sure in there current forms they'll be bitter." That makes the five fools shake in fear. "Fine but I want Midas brain. She destroyed the door I made you." I nodded grinning, "Of course you will get her brain. She ruined an awesome gift."

Zeus then spoke up. The blond dude looked like he was high on weed, "Look man, Midas forced us to do this. All we wanted was to be left alone by the police and heros when we smoke weed, do drugs, or use our quirks on my parents property. Seriously none of it is illegal but they keep bugging us because I am striking golden trees with lightning, Hespestus turns the gold into jewelry, North wind would cool it, and Neptune would get us drinks or make it rain over my property so it boosts my quirk."

I froze and slowly turned to them. "You four are the idiots who kept me up at midnight with lightning and thunder when it wasn't supposed to happen? You five were my neighbors for over ten years and you drove me insane!!!! I had to keep reporting you for keeping me awake when I was slowly losing the ability to sleep." I picked up "Midas" and recognized her, "Damn it. Judy Millhouse from America." I drop her and identify the rest of them. All of them were neighbors who drove me and my mom crazy.

"Ok let me put this in a way you idiots understand it. You were using your quirks between 10pm and 8am. Your quirks especially storm and lightning caused a shit ton of noise. You idiots were disturbing the peace, causing noise disturbance, and making it impossible for people to sleep. Now use your quirks during the day or you can do it in the mountains behind my house. If you do it when people aren't sleeping or where you won't keep people awake you'll be fine. Now bug me again for some dumb ass reason and I will keep your quirks. DO I MAKE MY SELF CLEAR YOU STONED IDIOTS?!?!" They all nod before I return their quirks and released them. They were lead out by the NFs.

I fixed the door and sighed as yet another group of people destroyed the door. The Anti-Villain Federation destroyed all my external doors and every single window before they saw me standing in my livingroom shaking with rage. "You destroyed my mansion. I bought this with my literal flesh and I save people who were illegally experimented on. I have done NOTHING to any of you. Now leave before I invoke Quirk Home Protection Act."

They had a muscular guy with bone spikes and looked like he was part wolf walk over to me. I glared as I looked up at him as he punched me. It broke his arm as I wasn't moved at all. "You call that a punch? This is a punch." I barely put any force into the punch sending him through the walls behind him. "What a weakling. I wasn't even using 1% of my power." Now leave or I will have to fill up about 10 different hospitals."

They had a person put me in a air membrane cage and I smirked as they pointed guns at me. That's when the leader walked over, it was Mineta. "Any last words villain?" I just started to laugh. I laughed easily for an hour because by the time I was done most were sat down or raiding my fridge. "You idiots are following pervert supreme? Seriously he has groped girls of all ages, tried to grope all of the UA girls supporting more than a B cup, and tried to grope my own mother."

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Izukus mom stayed thin and tall but maybe got a bit curvier. In this world she didnt end up looking like she got compressed by stress.
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Mineta panicked, "This villain is lying. He abused his powers and makes people work like slaves in his house." "Mocha, the Grapist is here." This caused Mineta to shake as she walked out. She honestly was in her 30s but looked like she was 18 and had curves to put pornstars to shame. She sighed as she saw him, "What do you want now? You know I don't like you." He struggled to contain himself, "I am here to finally get rid of this stupid villain."

This made Mocha laugh her ass off. "You're more of a villain than he is. Hell you groped me so many times I actually have spiked clothing ready to put under my uniform." She kept laughing as Mineta stuck her to the wall with his grape sticky balls. "Shut up you lying slut." He gagged her as I used my quirk to warp over and grab him by the neck. "Mineta you've now officially pissed me off. I'm invoking QHPA." I steal every intruders quirk and call the police as NFs tie them up. As the police watch the security tapes and cuff the people in antiquirk cuffs I return the quirks.

"Give my back my quirk you villain!! You have no right to keep it!!" I sighed as I looked at Mineta, "I boosted your quirk and you've only used it to be an even bigger pervert. Honestly I don't think you deserve a quirk." I gave him back his birth quirk and the police take him away. I unsticky ball Mocha from the wall and she sighed. Apparently she hoped I'd use her for special times.

After this was all cleaned up I started to repair my mansion really mad. Hopefully on Monday I find him expelled.

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