narrations for my au

jeonghan avery talk

jeonghan was just reading some papers at his office room until he felt a hug from the back, he looks back and see it was avery holding a cup of coffee and putting it on the table in front of them. jeonghan pressed a kiss on the top of her head and smiles.

"hmm, what brought you here?" jeonghan asks as he gets the cup of coffee and drank from it.

avery just hummed and burried her face on jeonghan's back, "you, okay av?" jeonghan says while putting down the papers he was holding, "we could spare some time and tell me your problems." he held avery's arms and removed it from his waist as he looks back and finally faced avery.

he held her chin and made her look up, "i may not be a perfect boyfriend for you, but i've been trying." jeonghan mumbles as he removes some strands on her face, "kahit minsan hindi ko na alam paano masalba yung relasyon na ito..."

"i know you heard the things i have said that night, i know sobrang gago ko and a simple sorry will never fix this, pero i am sorry pa rin." avery finally looks up and pursed her lips, "i'm sorry too, kasi hindi ko kayang pantayan yung pagmamahal mo." jeonghan slowly went nearer and kissed her forehead, as he lets go he was just admiring avery,

they may look like one of the couple na mukhang maayos sa panlabas but every behind those doors are just two individuals confused of what may love be, or what love is and that's them. they don't even bicker a lot, they don't have time of fighting kasi in the first place, anong pag-aawayan? wala. it's just them, and their confused feelings.

"you don't have to say sorry, i am at fault." jeonghan whispers.

the thing is, avery is so down to be with jeonghan until they can pero alam niya rin sa sarili niya na wala talaga, na baka hanggang doon lang talaga. para bang, pinaglalaruan siya ng tadhana? jeonghan is an ideal guy she always thoughts, she always find some reasons to hate him pero hindi niya kaya— mas lalong hindi niya kaya pantayan ang pagmamahal na meron si han kay malia, afterall, she's just a chapter in jeonghan's life.

"jeonghan, mahal mo ba ako?"

what avery loved the most about jeonghan is that he is straightforward and never hesitated about his feelings, sure, avery loves jeonghan but she can't really see her future with him.

"mahal. mahal na mahal." jeonghan mumbles, "and you know how much you mean to me during those times i've been broken."

ayun, sapul. avery also knew that jeonghan only gained love for her when he was at his lowest point, because she knows na siya lang naman ang nandyan lagi sa tabi ni jeonghan, wala nang iba— but even so, sa mga panahong iyon never umalis sa isipan ni jeonghan si malia, and that breaks avery, still she accepted and just wanted nothing but happiness for jeonghan.

"mahal mo pa si malia?" avery asks looking at jeonghan's eyes and it says everything— sadness.

jeonghan looks down and tries to control his tears but avery reached for his chin and made him look at her eyes.

"i get it han, never naman mawawala ang pagmamahal mo lalo na't malaking parte siya sa buhay mo." avery softly smiles,

"malaking parte ka rin naman ng buhay ko ah.." jeonghan says in a shaky voice, "sobrang laki kasi—"

"kasi ako ang naging comfort mo. hanggang dun lang 'yun, han. don't get me wrong okay? mahal kita, mahal na mahal pero i feel like it's just not for us."

jeonghan's tears didn't hesitate as it falls now. he buried his face at the crook of avery's neck and just cried it all out, "hindi ko kaya mawala ka." jeonghan says in between his sobs.

avery laughs and held jeonghan's cheeks, "sino ba nagsabi na mawawala ako sa'yo? even if we're not together in the future tandaan mo nandito lang ako." avery mumbles.

jeonghan finally stood up properly and looked at avery with his bloodshot eyes, "can we still try?" he asks softly which avery nodded at, "we can still try pero han?"

"hmm?"

"if hindi na na'tin kaya, it's better to let go."

jeonghan looks down and wiped his unshed tears, "sige na kausapin mo na si malia, and also,"

jeonghan looks up, "this is your decision, and whatever that is, sana malaman mo na i am happy for you, always been." avery says kissing jeonghan's forehead and walking off of the office until jeonghan heard the door close.

he then sat down slowly at the floor still crying as he saw a picture at the other side of the room placed on the wall, it's a picture of him and malia in italy months ago, their most recent picture as he thoughts it'll be his last, probably.