Speaking Heartbeats

Heartbeat 13

Heartbeat 13

A small smile encapsulated my lips while making my way inside our home. I eagerly went to the kitchen when I couldn't find Mama's presence in the sala.

"Hello, 'Ma!" I greeted her and hugged her from the back.

Abala si Mama sa paghiwa ng mga gulay when I barged in, kaya naman nabigla ito sa aking pagyakap. Inis na hinarap niya ako at kinurot sa tagiliran na siyang pilit kong iniwasan.

"Ikaw talagang bata ka!" she exclaimed which made me laugh.

"I have good news, 'Ma!"

Inangat ko ang aking dalawang kamay. "Ga-graduate na ako!"

Nilukob ng saya ang mukha ng aking ina. Lumapit siya sa akin at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.

"I'm so proud of you, anak.." naluluhang sambit niya habang marahang hinahaplos ang aking mahabang buhok

"Mama, maraming salamat sa lahat... Thank you for your sacrifices and words of encouragement."

It still feels like a dream for me, lalo na kapag naaalala ko ang mga paghihirap at pagsusumikap ko noong unang taon ko pa lamang sa kolehiyo. How I tried to focus on my studies, but still, the fragments of memories from the past I wanted to forget are trying to occupy the spaces in my mind.

Matapos ang makabagbag-damdaming pag-uusap namin ni Mama ay nagpaalam na ako. It has been an exhausting day for me, and I need a good rest.

The smile plastered on my lips slowly vanished when I met my sister's scrutinizing gaze. I stood passive as she ran her eyes from my head to toe while seated on the sofa. She rolled her eyes in the end, but I remained unaffected.

For the past years, I learned to master the art of not giving too much. It took me a lot of argument with my sister to finally realize that I don't have to be so keen on explaining my side because people will always have a say. People are entitled to their own opinions, and once they have made up their minds, it would be hard to bend their beliefs. I don't have to clean up my image because as long as I know the truth and I have done my part, these would be enough.

"My dear little sister... sa wakas ay ga-graduate ka na."

Ang pinaghalong poot at lamig sa kaniyang boses ay nandoon pa rin kahit na apat na taon na ang lumipas. I shrugged because I got used to it.

"Are you not happy for your little sister? Ate, if I graduate, we will be in the same field and profession."

She chuckled with her familiar sarcastic laugh.

Isang taon matapos makapanganak ni Ate Lorelie, bumalik siya sa pag-aaral. She finished her Nursing degree and passed the boards. Now, she works at the provincial hospital of Luisiana.

"I will never be happy for the good things in your life, Alexis. Masisiyahan lamang ako kapag naranasan mo rin ang pagdurusang naranasan ko. Remember that, little sister.."

I arched my left brow and stood unaffected. "Hindi ka pa ba uuwi? Baka hinahanap ka na ng asawa't anak mo."

I changed the topic, so she stood up, fuming mad.

"Huwag mong ibahin ang usapan, Alexis!" she exclaimed. Nanggagalaiting idinuro niya ako kaya't hinawi ko ang kaniyang hintuturo.

"Oh, shut it!" tumaas ang tono ng boses ko. "Ang tanda mo na, Ate! Grow up! You should act like your age. Pagod na ako sa mga eksenang ganito."

Her deep breaths answered me. Huminga ako ng malalim upang pakalmahin ang sarili at pinahaba ang pasensiya.

"Umuwi ka na, Ate. You have a family. Sila ang asikasuhin mo at huwag ako," pagtatapos ko sa usapan at nagsimula nang pumanhik paakyat sa aking kuwarto.