Speaking Heartbeats

Heartbeat 25

Heartbeat 25

The sun had already set when I arrived home. Ang nagdidilim na paligid ay tila umaayon sa aking kalooban at kagustuhan. I want it dark...I want it dim...because this way, I can hide my tears and conceal my pain.

Madilim ang buong bahay nang akyatin ko ang aking kuwarto. It seems that my parents are out again.

A fire ignited within me when my eyes feasted on an unwanted visitor.

"What are you doing here?" malamig na tanong ko sa kapatid. Nakahilig ito sa hamba ng pintuan ng aking kuwarto.

Umangat ang kaniyang ulo nang marinig ang aking boses. She seemed lost in her thoughts just before I came in.

Isang ngisi ang bumalot sa kaniyang labi nang makita ako. "Well.. Well.. My sister is now back. So how did the talk go? I'm confident you went to Andrei."

"Umalis ka na, Ate. Wala ako sa mood para makipaglaro sa'yo."

"Really, Alexis?" she gave a mocking chuckle. "Come on, just answer me. Inamin ba ni Andrei? Did he deny it?"

I shot her a steely glance. "Stop it, Ate! Stop your immature games already! Ang tanda-tanda mo na pero umaakto ka pa ring bata."

"Don't dodge my questions, Alexis! Bakit wala kang masabi? Did you forgive him already? Did you accept him again in your life?"

Napairap ako sa kaniyang sunod-sunod na mga tanong.

"So ganoon na lang iyon?! We played with your feelings, Alexis. He toyed you again, tulad na lamang noon. Kaya't bakit nagpapakatanga ka na naman sa lalaking iyon!" she continued her rant when I remained silent.

Bago ko pa man mabuksan ang pintuan ay nahawakan ni Ate ang kamay kong nakahawak sa doorknob. Her grip is firm, stopping me from dodging her questions.

"Pwede ba, Ate?! Tigilan mo na ako!"

"Hindi kita tatantanan, Alexis. Habang buhay kong ipapamukha sa'yo na pinagkaisahan ka namin."

She gave out a maniac laugh. "You'd never be happy because even your friends conspired against you."

I shook my head for another wave of disappointment. "Naaawa ako kay Kuya Luke," my mention of her husband's name evaporated the wicked grin on her lips. "Kailangan niyang pakisamahan ang asawang katulad mo na masyadong pakialamera sa buhay ng iba."

"Aba't talagang ginagalit mo ako!"

She raised her hand and aimed to slap my face, but I stopped her hand midway. I raised my other hand, attempting to hit her back. Natigil sa ere ang aking kamay nang maalala ang kaniyang kalagayan. Kahit na gusto ko siyang hampasin ay pinigilan ko ang sarili.

I gritted my teeth instead. "I'm warning you, Ate. Don't try to mess up my life again. Huwag mong sagarin ang aking natitirang pagtitimpi, because next time, I will not let it pass. Pasalamat ka, even though you don't deserve my respect, kapatid pa rin kita."

I flashed her my sweet smile, warning plastered behind it. "Huwag ako ang pagtoonan mo ng pansin. Take care of yourself and the baby. Focus on how you can be a good mother to your children. Maawa ka naman sa pamilya mo, Ate."

Pasalampak akong naupo sa kama nang makapasok sa aking kuwarto. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang nangyari sa kapatid dahil iniwan ko itong tigalgal sa mga patutsada ko.

Saglit akong napatulala. My phone rang, and it alerted my senses.

Bes Lena calling..

Pinakatitigan ko ito. I did not move nor opt to answer the call, hanggang sa tuluyan nang matapos ang pag-ring ng aking cellphone. She called again, and I just ignored it continuously.