Speaking Heartbeats

Heartbeat 24

Heartbeat 24

Trust. The easiest to give but once broken, the hardest to fix.

I have known and been with Lena, Hannah, Dolores, and Nely for more than two decades. Mula pagkabata ay sila na ang kinamulatan kong mga kaibigan, mga kasama sa kasiyahan at kalokohan. They hold a special place in my heart, and I trust them among anyone else....but I never expected that a day would come where they would stain the faith I have for them.

A day which happens to be today...

"Anong deal ang pinag-uusapan ninyo?"

Nanatili ang kaseryosohan sa aking tinig at paninitig.

The girls drew a deep breath except for my older sister, who seemed to grow more thrilled as seconds passed. Ate Lorelie had a wicked grin on her lips when she stood.

"Now that you're here, dear sister, let's talk about the truth that we are hiding from you."

Humalukipkip ako. I wanted to hope that what Ate Lorelie would reveal would be something pleasant....but I know in myself that I was just fooling myself because whatever concerns me that involves my sister, it would not be for my welfare.

"We made a deal with Andrei to make you fall in love with him again, Alexis."

My eyes widened kaya't mas lalong lumawak ang pagkakangisi ng aking kapatid. I shifted my unwavering gaze to my friends, and they all guiltily bowed their heads. My lips slowly parted. With the emanating silence, things are becoming more apparent.

"Pinakiusapan namin si Andrei na muling makipaglapit sa'yo....na gawin niya ang lahat makuha ka lang ulit," tuloy ng aking kapatid. "But poor guy...you rejected his love."

"Totoo?" baling ko sa mga kaibigan.

Their silence is a confirmation. Pinaglapat ko ang nakaawang na mga labi. Nanatili akong nakamasid sa kanila. Hinintay ko silang salubungin ang aking mga mata ngunit nanatili silang iwas sa akin.

Now I know why they kept insisting Andrei to me...pushing me toward him and teasing me at all costs despite my protests. They were great actresses, though. They made it look like all was not a part of a plan. When I told them that Andrei was courting me, they seemed genuinely shocked. When I bared myself to them, they comforted me...supported me as if they were true.

"Why?" I croaked. Sa katahimikang isinasagot nila sa akin ay mas lalo akong nanlulumo.

"Oh.. Don't blame them, my little sister. We all did it for you." Ate Lorelie smirked. "It's all for you...because we love you."

I fixed my sharp gaze on the woman who, I believe, plotted everything—my sister.

As a child, I have always adored Ate Lorelie. In my memory, she was a loving and caring older sister. She was my first playmate before I met the girls. She took care of me when I was sick, and our parents were away. Dahil da-dalawa lang kami, we were always together.

Things changed when she moved to junior high. She started to disconnect herself. Akala ko dala ng pagdadalaga kaya't umiiwas siya sa akin...na ayaw na niyang makipaglaro sa akin. Ilang ulit akong lumapit at ilang ulit ko rin siyang kinulit. Ibinida ko pa ang mga natanggap na medalya at parangal pero lahat ng iyon ay binalewala niya. I have always wanted to be close to her again but she was so enclosed in her own world. As I continued excelling, the more she moved away from me...hanggang sa nasanay na ako na malayo siya sa akin.

From where I'm standing, I can infer that the once loving sister who took care of me when I was eight is now different from the woman in front of me. I can feel her overflowing hatred just from her stares.